Warning: a little smug, self-congratulations is coming. Hey, this blog is about me and my world. 

The omnipotent, ever-powerful 'they', which shouldn't be confused with the all-knowing Wizard of Oz, have discovered 'the wheat belly'. Basically, modern wheat, as now grown and distributed, is not the wheat our bodies were developed to process. Many people, after eating wheat, develop a wheat belly.

Surprise!

I've known this. Figured it out a few years ago on my end. Even termed it wheat belly in my head.

Sure wish I'd mentioned it to others. 

I'd noticed that eating wheat products added to my girth. I'd also noticed that drinking beer could also cause this, a phenomena that's called "beer belly". Beer belly has been around as long as beer. Deciphered ancient glyphs in cave paintings show that the beer belly has been around as long as humans. 

(The Far Side, by Gary Larson, remains one of my favorite comic strips. In one, he once had bears staring at another bear, who had a huge, jutting gut. The punchline:  "No matter how hard they tried, the other bears couldn't help but stare at Norm's enormous deer gut.")

Cheese has also been developing an impact on me, too, lately. I seem to have a relationship with it. The more of it I eat, the more weight I gain, and the more my belly protrudes. But beer, cheese and wheat bellies are less about the amounts eaten than the food's impact on my body.

They bloat me. 

Yes, that's right, I'm blaming the food for my sometimes body shape. It's a sometimes body shape because, having become aware of it, I tested my theory, validated it, and cut out cheese and bread. Mostly. I'll go long periods without. But bread and cheese - wheat and cheese - are common in processed foods and restaurant offerings. They also comprise two of my favorite food groups, cheese and grains. 

My third favorite food group is chocolate. I'm a dark chocolate fiend. Tip: Dark chocolate is a boon companion to wine and cheese. Add a little fresh fruit, bread and olives for a delightful repast.

See how easy it is for me to avoid my favorite foods?

A big component of this is my emotional attachment to food, how I use food as escape valves when I'm tired or stressed. I'm also married to a woman who uses food as escape valves. We'll be good for two, three weeks, then, pop, gone in one weekend and we must begin again.

We always begin with a prayer. "Oh, Lord, let us lose this weight that we just regained after three weeks of diet and exercise, and lead us not into temptation at Kaliedoscope Pizza again, for their pizza and salads are great, especially with a cold beer. Deliver us from the cheese selections in the local grocery stores, and Daves Peace Bread Bomb, for those stores have the best cheeses and breads, and we can't resist them, amen."

As for beer? I've determined that it has less of a bloat impact on me than the others, so it remains my one weakness, along with coffee and coffee drinks, wine, pizza, cheeses - oh, and fresh fruit - and cheese - chocolate - baked pastries - so long as I keep it to two or three beers a week - two or three tall, frosty cold ones, so good on a day, like today, that supposed to be pretty hot, low 90s - depending on my exercise and activity levels.

At least I understand my problem now. It's the way our food is being grown and distributed, and were it not for food and drink, I wouldn't have a weight problem at all, except for starvation and malnutrition. But I'm blaming the food and drink industry anyway. That gives me a day of reprieve. A hot day is ahead and I'd like to have a beer.

It's my one weakness.