where the writers are

I have named my new phone, the esteemed Samsung Stratosphere provided by Verizon through my company's machinations and bureaucracy.

I don't usually name things. Yes, my previous Blackberrys were both named - Pillsbury and Pillsbury 2, also known as doughboy - but that's because my wife couldn't remember Blackberry. She knew it ended in a 'berry' sort of sound and came up with...Pillsbury.

This new phone has earned its name. I am calling it Audrey, after the alien carnivorous plant in "Little Shop of Horrors". I think it's appropriate. The thing always chimes at me, "Energy low! Charge me!" It reminds me of Audrey imploring, "Feed me, Seymour."