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Being Black with A Capital B

I wake up and immediately feel the difference. The air in my bedroom smells like fresh peaches and warm Georgia sunshine-like jerk chicken, etouféé and Chicago blues. Then I remember:

It's Black History Month.

And so on the first day, I rose. I sprung from my bed like a panther streaking across the Serengeti, into my bathroom, where I gripped my toothbrush and tore open the medicine cabinet, much like John Henry, that steel-drivin' man of myth, tore through a mountain of stone with only his hammer and his bare black hands.

It's Day 1 of my new life, you feel me? Our time has come! If I'm going to make the most of my new identity, I'd better get crack-a-lackin':

"Kids... we're black."

At breakfast, my four children squint at me the way Thomas Edison squinted at Lewis Latimer when Latimer invented the carbon filament (without which Edison's lightbulb would have remained a dark bulb).

"What are you talking about, daddy?" says my teenager, the future award-winning author/actress and thermonuclear supermodel.

 

Read the rest at Black Voices.

Thanks as usual to Gina Misiroglu of Red Room for putting me in touch with the Black Voices/AOL people. It's just one of the great ways she's bringing traffic to Red Room and getting attention for Red Room's authors.

Comments
7 Comment count
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Oh, snap

Michael,

I almost passed out halfway through Being Black with A Capital B because a.) it was witty and b.) I have a cold and c.) it's hard to cough and laugh at the same time and d.) if that's an inappropriate reaction, I'm sorry. Blame it on Angloness.

Is it too soon to educate your kids about human trafficking victims; the modern slaves of all colors who live and die in every city in the world, including the US?

And now you hope I pass out from my cough medicine.

Jules

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Black WIth a Capital B

Thanks, Jules! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Hope the cough meds work! Feel better!

Michael Boatman

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Role Model

You are the 'bestest' adopted brutha ever! You never cease to amaze and enlighten me, motivate and encourage, albeit vicariously but nonetheless still effective. Black WIth a Capital B, what a journey Damn if I don't feel 'Super Black' at this very moment! ;-)

PS: It is all your fault I am writing again, live with it!
C J aka Procomicdiva

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Supa-Black

Thanks, CJ. I'm glad you enjoyed that piece. And I'm glad it got you writing again. Mwwoooohhoooohhhaaahah. I am an evil literary genius! Soon America will be awash in subversive thought. People writing about...stuff. (It's all going according to plan.)

 Thanks again!

 Michael B 

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!!

So great. So freakin' great. Thank you. It's april so I read it after The Month but I'm white, so duh. Typical, huh?

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Being Black

Hey, Helen, thanks for your kind words. Although I have to tell you, I was a little less than pleased by the editing job they did over at AOL for this piece, (inserting 'sprung' when I originally wrote 'sprang,' for instance.) What the hell do you do when your editor makes mistakes and then posts the piece anyway?

ANYWAY

Thanks again, though. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece. I enjoyed writing it and am thinking of putting together a series of humorous essays about similar topics to make a book. Since I'm still rewriting my last novel, however, that's still some distance in the future!

Thanks again.

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More funny essays! YES.

The ability to write humor is such a great gift--the most laughability I can seem to eke out is wryly dry. It provokes "smiles." I want my readers rolling on the floor, dammit!

You also had a real point to make through the humor, which is absolute gold. I'm going to use your piece as a great example of humor with my creative writing students.

Once I had to deal with a near-illiterate editor, and it's nervewracking. In this case she mangled my final draft, sent it back to me, her "track changes" studded with smiley face icons (why), and I had to fix it point by point and ship it back. Nail biting ensued. It turned out she accepted all my corrections of her changes. I have no idea what motivated that initial spasm of incompetence, but in the end all was well.

You might be interested in my short story (eformat) which deals in my tentative WASP way with race--a friend said it was funny, but she might have been being nice. It'll set you back by a buck 99. The link is http://www.bookstogonow.com/didyouputhecattobed.html or you can do a search thingy on Amazon with my name. i.e. Helen W Mallon

Anyway, enjoy your fabulous California week. So long from staid Philadelphia.