And if all the tears that I cried fell from this sky there would be a deluge that stretched from Coley's house up to Peter's house and beyond my own and we would all know about that. There would be shadows in the houses and voices that spoke in whispers and doubts would rise like the fog in the fields across the way. She's not the same, they would say, between cups of tea and vacant eyes.
But laughter can come from nowhere, it can soak up the worst of life's woes and if all those smiles could be gathered together in one place, sure only a longed for heatwave on the soil would occur, where the earth would be baked and we'd all have the windows open and be sitting in the shade with iced drinks and casual voices might pass in the air and eyes would open up and become true.
There could surely be a thousand frowns for each disappointment that came to pass, that would, without doubt colour the sky and darken the horizon but after that a sudden lightness of heart, in the form of a gentle breeze, it would lift and carry the clouds away. Caution comes with the footsteps. Those footsteps can crush the wildflowers and have them weep to the ground in a tangled mass and it is only with careful tread of step that we avoid the chaos, the limited vision.
If you drive by Peter's house, long dead now, you will see a big gash in the land. It is like a cruel cutting of a tray of brownies to me. A bad cutting. A blunt knife tears through his precious land. I drive by each day and comment aloud on it to no one in particular. The gash represents something that I refuse to acknowledge. Above the field there are two trees, bare and open to the wind. Sometimes I see a lone cow standing there. Aloof and forgotten, body cast to the point of light. I don't imagine Peter would want to see what has happened to the field where I often saw him walk, in his blue coat, his grey hair cast about his brown face, his eyes intense, intense on his land. His tears staining his clothes, his boots muddy and brown and thick with life. Eye to the sky. Always to the sky.