My fingernails have paint wedged deep down into the gaps. White and congealed and impossible to remove. Cobwebs form along the open windows, white and whimsical and easily broken. My son brings his girlfriend to the house and her skin is white and translucent like icicles that I once saw hanging from a porch in Flagstaff. I put white butter into a pan and melt it. I add white garlic to it and the pungency overwhelms. It clings to the white walls of the kitchen and to my fingertips already claimed by paint. I toss Crab Claws into the melting mass and the sweet smell of the sea fills my nostrils. The dogs sniff the air beyond the window and appear restless. The whole day amounts to this moment. All the activity settles once dinner is called. Son comes to table after bidding farewell to girlfriend. He sits on one of the newly painted white chairs. I put white bread into a basket and place the Crab Claws on a white plate with yellow lemons. We dip our bread into the golden melted butter and suck the meat from the cavities of the claws. Nothing is wasted. Son tells me his girlfriend is expecting an exchange student to visit from France. The student thinks she is three months pregnant. She is only seventeen. I wonder what world this is. If I am creating a fantasyof whites and lemons and dogs and chairs. Nothing makes much sense to me. I eat and wonder quietly to myself. I wonder how complicated everything is. How all the whiteness seems to have turned into greys and browns. How once I sat the young man on the white chair onto my lap and sang silly songs into his ear. Why, I remember being in a bed in this house with my three sons. We were wrapped in white sheets and it was six am and I, I, I, imagine this, I was singing to them. We were all cuddled together, like we were living in a nest. I have a photograph to prove it. I was so happy then. One mother in a white bed with three of her nestlings all snuggled up at six am and I singing to them like a blackbird on a tree unaware of what was to come. Why, not even contemplating it.