Thistledown drifts across the garden like grey cotton wool. It swims above the driveway in an elegant fashion to land out of my sight. Yet, the thistledown makes me wistful for the beginning of Summer to come back to me as I know the significance that it brings in the end of something I thought might last forever. How, I anticipated this Summer in May. The plans I had. The joy of sunshine raked my bones. Still, there are more sunny days to come. I have to believe that and days when the sun lounge chairs will be pulled out of the shed and set up on the patio in hopes of getting some rays. What else is there but hope for that? A small little thing, the promise of a day when I can open up all the windows and dust away the cobwebs that lay invisible on the shrouded, grey days we so often encounter and yet drown my vision when the sun beats through the glass. How domesticated I become then. Invigorated by sunshine.
Day. It passes without noticing and still I try to fill it with something to matter. To remember it by.
I like open windows. Cold green tea doused with lemon. I like H when he kisses me and we climb the stairs. I like it when my son shows me his photographs. I like it when the old Beagle stays closer to the house and I notice how grey his eyes have become, dazzled and tired by his life. I like it when I pat him on the beach on he yawns. I like the wind in my hair and H laughs and tells me I could be Tina Turner. I like it being alive. And I like it wanting to write and bake and create and mess around the house and read Richard Ford like he is feeding me.
I don't like Pussy Riot being told not to speak openly. I don't like Global Warming. I don't like GM foods. I don't like fakes who think they know everything. I don't like reading about missing children. I could go on but I won't because there are too many things to list and I don't want to bore you.
So, this day is full of things I like. Baking a cake for my neighbour. Carrot. Drinking red wine. Nice bottle from Marks and Spencer. Rubbing coconut oil on my skin. Walking the dogs. Making love. Eating brown rice and wonderful organic salmon. Talking to H. Loving my sons. Watching the thistledown drift away and across the land and knowing that this day will never be again and screw it, but if I sound selfish I was damn sure to make the most of it.