Write to someone you think matters in your life. Write a true account of your thoughts. The events. The small details that might otherwise pass into the ether without ever seeing the light of day. In other words write your heart out. Wait. Wait for two whole months and check your phone each day. Run to the mailbox. Nothing. No response comes. So what you might say to this is that life moves on, no biggie. But it is a biggie. It is like the many times you leave a comment on a blog and no response. I mean you go to the trouble to read the words, to digest them, to mull them over and yet, they go unheeded. Fine. That person is not of consequence to you anyway but what if the person is of consequence. What if there is a history to you and that person? What if that person is supposed to matter? What then?
Well, the initial silence hurts. It hurts badly for a long while. You find yourself distracted and out of kilter. It interferes with your life. The salt in the wound drags at your soul. Pyschedelic thoughts fly in and out. You become obsessed with receiving a response. But still, it does not come. You feel let down. The world is not what it should be. People disappoint. Nothing makes sense. You look at your children, your almost adult sons and thank them for being sensitive to others. You seek out solace in long walks and in the assurance of the loved one walking close to you who holds your hand.
You never asked for much. Just to be understood. Just to have someone like you out there who cared as much. But then intuition comes along and whispers in your ear. Least when you expect it to. It comes suddenly out of the darkness. Maybe you are making enchiladas for dinner, or soaking in a citrus, eucalyptus bath and there, it comes, like a tender kiss on a tingling ear lobe. It tells you that you cannot have everything, that life is a weighing scales, too much on one side does not compensate for the lack on the other, that what you have is what you need to foster and what is not must be allowed to be. Then and only then, is the truth permitted to come forth. The truth that rises up and empowers the very being, that was the confused person who ran around looking for something that could never occur. It points to the reality. It discounts those who do not matter. Who once did. But not now. Not by a long shot.