HE STOLE HER HEART, SHE STEALS EVERYTHING ELSE. . . .
I, Melanie Zeitgar, do solemnly swear I will never shoplift again. Ever!*
*Exceptions: Break-ups, weight gain, job losses, crummy auditions, great auditions where you don’t get a call back, high Visa bills, cavities, the trauma of using automated telephone menus, surprise visits from mom, no phone calls from CLOML (Current Love of My Life), and any other unforeseen tragic bouts of stress. Amen.
Meet Melanie Zeitgar. Aspiring actress-turned-bored temp. The Queen of Divine Quips. And a total kleptomaniac. For Mel, stealing is a lot like love: she knows the right thing when she sees it. Unfortunately, she sees it everywhere: Pretty soaps. Socks. Lipstick. Cashmere sweaters. Tampons. Condoms. Candy bars. Perfume. Make-up. The occasional vibrator. Hey, can she help it if she has a special, and unfortunately, very illegal talent? She doesn’t mean to take things. Just like she doesn’t mean to tell people she’s a struggling clock artist. Or continue eating chocolate. Or wait for a call from Ray, the Beautiful Musician Who Must Have Been in a Horrible Accident that Broke His Dialing Fingers.
Melanie’s biggest rule—in life, love, and shoplifting—is this: Don’t Get Caught. But sometimes, even the best klepto has an off day. Now, with every part of her life veering zanily out of control, Melanie’s met a guy whose heart is hers for the taking…if she’s brave enough to pay the price. ..