My Karma is off.
Two weeks ago I ran over a dog.
I haven't gone into detail with friends and family, only with a couple of my colleagues. And that was just this week. I know there are many, many worse things in this life. But it affected me. And now I believe my Karma is off. I have fallen, tipped over a full glass of water at a restaurant, my car tire has a slow leak, my favorite colleague gave her notice, I keep breaking things, I have missed a couple of deadlines at work (I never miss deadlines), one of my doctors retired and his replacement, who is 12 years old, wants to stick a needle in my neck. I could go on, especially about happenings at work but that would be unethical. I will only share that this week at work I was made to gag. Enough said about that.
I should share that the dog survived. It truly came out of nowhere, I wasn't even able to break. I called 9-1-1 who sent animal control. Both were kind people. I assume, but did not follow up, that the dog was put down.
Outside my office window I see stray dogs almost every day. They likely are neglected and abandoned. I am sure some, however, are simply lost after escaping from a loving home, just as my dogs have done. A few years ago our 2 beagles were gone for 3 days. We found them living with a lovely woman about 3 miles from our house. Would you believe she let them sleep on her bed?? A sainted woman. That's what you hope for when your dogs go missing.
The stray dogs I see from my office window, especially in the summer, are seeking refuge under the oaks in a city park. Soft grass provide some comfort. Often I see a pair of dogs and occasionally 3 or 4 running together. This year I began carrying water and dog food in my car for these animals. Don't tell my boss.
Now I am responsible for killing one.
Petal, my hairstylist and a wise woman, says I should go sit in the middle of a field and center myself. I might. I am thinking I have to volunteer for some animal group. A resuce. The dog was a mutt with pitbull features. Maybe the pitbull rescue. I haven't decided. I have decided it has to be soon. This weekend. I am running out of time. At least that's the way I feel.
I need my Karma back. Is that selfish?