I have teased my husband for years telling him that he has it very easy. While dating and during our thirty years of marriage, I have never once said to him, " I expect you to buy me a gift on Valentine's Day, Christmas, Mother's Day, our anniversary, my birthday ." I have always found it amazing that people put so much emphasis on receiving gifts. I find it amazing that some believe that gift-giving is the main way as proof of love and loyalty.
They want a gift, period. It doesn't matter if the person dogs you out 354 days out of the year, a gift especially on Valentine's Day, will somehow magically prove to you that he cares. It doesn't even matter if the person has consistently proven his disloyalty to you through his actions. The pressure, guilt trips, and attitudes that people use to wrangle gifts, wow, amazing. They fail to realize that a gift is something to be given freely, not under duress.
One of the greatest gifts that my husband can give me is to treat me like the queen I am on a daily basis. Contrary to some people's beliefs, a gift can never take the place of his overall treatment of me. I remember vividly one Valentine's Day some years ago. A good friend was stressing out over whether her boyfriend would buy her a gift. She said, "He better come in with some flowers, candy, and take me out to dinner." I really couldn't understand her logic, since he cheated on her constantly. It was like a never-ending cycle. He would lie. She would catch him in the lie. Then, he would finally confess. Somehow though, he always convinced her that she was to blame for his infidelities. Yet, here she was concerned about whether he was going to buy her some gifts and take her out to dinner.
Giving someone a gift does not prove that you love them or even care about them. Yes, it can be part of the picture, but it's not the total picture. Only insecure people need gifts to feel needed and wanted. So on this Valentine's Day, instead of focusing on gifts, focus on your relationship as a whole. You may discover that you've already received one of the greatest gifts around. Hm....Hm...just my thoughts.
Causes Martha Ross-Rodgers Supports
American Cancer Society, Reading Is Fundamental, The Tom Joyner Foundation, National Coalition for Homeless Veterans