Many, many times during my childhood and teenage years I was tempted to pick up my fountain pen and write a letter to Ann Landers or her sister Abigail van Buren. “Dear Abby” or “Dear Ann” it would have begun. “Help!”
“Help me! No one understands me. My parents don’t understand me. My brothers and sisters don’t want me around. If they see me in school, they won’t talk to me except to say “Go away”. My friends sort of get me, but mostly we just hang out and go to movies. We don’t talk about important stuff.
“The only person in this world who understands me is my grandmother. What is that about, Dear Ann? Dear Abby?
“My grandmother said that she was the youngest in her family, too. She was close to her grandmother just like I am with her. Her grandmother told her things that she was not supposed to tell her family. Just like my Gram tells me things and says not to tell my family. She said they wouldn’t understand. Just like her grandmother said that her family would never understand.
“I told Gram that they don’t understand me. They don’t understand about God and the angels and saints the way we do. The way Gram taught me that I really do see them. That those really are angels under my bed and in the closet and in the corners of my bedroom at night. They are there to protect me. Sometimes they play hide and seek as I’m falling to sleep. Gram said that’s alright, too.
“Is it true what my Gram says, Dear Abby? Dear Ann? Is it true that my family will never understand me? She says they will always want me to be in their lives the way they want, but never be able to talk with me. They will never understand about God and the angels.
“Is it true, Ann and Abby?”
Years later Ann and Abigail have both died, taking their wells of wisdom and good humor with them. Many others have come along, but nobody will ever match them.
Sorry, Dan Savage.
My grandmother and her grandmother were both very right. Families don’t understand the spiritually different. That is okay, just like both of those wise women said. What they also both said was that we grow up.
We leave our families behind.
They do not understand us for a reason. They are only our families by blood, not by spirit.
The tremendous gifts of living in the mystical world means that God has given me other brothers and sisters whose lives mean far more to me than my blood relatives. My spiritual twin tells me what I am thinking before the thought has leapt out of my subconscious. Other spiritual friends are able to discuss with me what we have forever known and always wanted to give away and receive.
Generations come and generations go. As I was passing from my teenage life to adult life I had to let go of the pain of a generation passing. I learned I had to let go of all of the generations of my family and all families. Spirit is thicker than blood.
A few days ago I watched another old man step onto a porch at the Vatican to be proclaimed pope of the Catholic Church. Thank God, it was not me, but looking at him I thought I looked better in my white monk’s habit than he did in papal silks. I reflected on how he will lead one of the major world religions for a short time and then die. He might even have a small effect if he leads a spiritual life.
Dear Abby and Dear Ann could never have written me a letter telling me to live the spirituality I had been given. They could never have told me to forget and ignore the pains of a flesh and blood family. They could never have told me to let it all go. I had to learn it for myself.
Families remind us that we are not here to live a worldly life. They are not essential.
The purpose of my life is to serve my God. I am here to be an exorcist, one who brings spirits into creation and sends them out. I am also not necessary to do this work. God has chosen. If you want to ask why me instead of another person, ask God.
Dear Ann and Dear Abby gave us decades of wonderful advice. They listened with grace, humor, dignity and compassion.
If you are a child of spiritual abilities reading this, you want to be treated with that grace, dignity, humor and compassion. Never expect others to comprehend or understand your spirituality. They rarely do even if they belong to a church ministry. Rather, by living a dignified life of quiet grace and good humor you will accept what God has already given to you.
Give back to the world by doing His work.