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"Treachery"

Here's one that wants to be part of my Dante and Beatrice series.   I keep tinkering with the ending.  Are we there yet?

Treachery

 

Beatrice never caught Dante with a blonde.

No need, Dearie.

The sky cat kept his boys in line.

 

If Dante drew near

someone unbeatific,

Whiskers cracked a steep maw.

 

One day Dante veered toward alien strands.

Curtains! cursed the stars.

Bea tripped over her crystal ball.

 

She didn’t wish him well in his new new life.

La vita nuova was good enough for her,

why wasn’t it his gelato?

 

She stuffed herself, burrowed in.

How had she failed him?

By wrinkling a mortal body?

 

Grandcat couldn’t hear complaints, grasped

only traps and cheese.

She wasn’t mousy. 

 

Spat at the fresh fluff,

“Beat it, Sugar, or I’ll crunch

your skinny bird bones,

 

bat you round like baby Nascar!”

Bea was mean empty.

Dante seemed gaunt without her.

 

She’d spoon him pomegranate pie

until he spilled syrup,

lick his sticky tips, & her paws.

 

 

 

 

Marilyn Kallet

 

Comments
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She spooned him pomegranate

She spooned him pomegranate pie

he spilled syrup

so she licked his sticky tips

(Is there such a tense as active past? Anyway, this seems more vivid.)

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Good change, I like it!

I like your version--