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POTC #4 Opens Huge Overseas
Silver Medal IPPY Winner Best Erotica 2010
POTC #4 opens May 20th


Pirates of the Caribbean: On Strange Tides has already made $18.5 million dollars overseas. Without my having to be in a single one of those theaters, gang. That's kind of impressive, don't you think???

To be honest, I have been so insanely busy around here, I had sort of forgotten that POTC #4 was opening here tomorrow. I mean, it's on the calendar, and my cousin will be in the AMC lobby waiting for me so if I totally completely 100% did space on this tomorrow, she would be dialing my cell phone number posthaste, saying, "Where the bleep are you????!!!" (My cousin does not curse like a sailor the way I do -- just FYI. She raised two lovely daughters. And all I've managed to raise are frisky cats. Anyway.)

I was on the phone with my mother last evening, ranting on & on about something or other having to do with my illustrious career, when Mom, who is something like 192 & 1/2 years old, suddenly said:

MOM: "Well, Friday's the big day for you!"
ME [thinking: Big day, big day... what on earth is she talking about?}: "Big day in what way, Mom?"
MOM: "Johnny Depp's new Pirates of the Caribbean movie is opening on Friday!"
ME [astounded that it is already time for that movie to be opening]: "Yes. Right. Of course. I'll be there. Absolutely."

I have to say in all honesty, though, I had been completely & thoroughly broadsided yesterday by an item on Deadline Hollywood or Variety or something like that, regarding Dark Shadows (Tim Burton & Johnny Depp) instead. They published a synopsis of what the movie's plot will entail, and I was, like, "Oh my god, oh my god, this is going to be so fucking good!!! I can not wait to see this movie!!" And I read with horror (appropriately enough, I guess) that it already had a release date of May 11th 2012 and I thought: Oh my god -- NO!!! That means it's going to be a year from now before I know it!! Crap, crap, crap. (Tim Burton-Johnny Depp movies have a way of sucking time right out from under me; it's frightening how quickly time disappears the minute they affix an actual release date to one of their films & then it's suddenly a year later and I'm in a movie theater and the lights are going down....)

So when Mom said that Friday was a big day for me, I think my brain had already lost track of what year this was. Crimony.