Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Yes, the very dear Good Shepherd of Psalm 23 -- it has gotten me through these last two days somehow. I am feeling a little better today.
I am noticing the majesty of love. Even while my house is still bustling with ten beautiful cats, I feel so keenly the loss of one. The loss of one small cat has left such an enormous emptiness, even in this crowd. And it tells me something fathomless about love. It can't be measured, can it? And there is always more love to go around. We can care deeply, and feel love hugely, and feel the loss keenly -- I have been bowled over by waves of grief since Sunday -- and still there is plenty of love to go around to others, even as I am grieving.
The Apostle Paul said it best, I think: "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians, 13:13)
I know that through my strengths as a writer, I could tell you all the details of these past two days with a real flare; share the scope of my grief with you -- but that would only be weighing you down with sorrow and transferring it to you. So instead, I will talk to you about the joy of having had him since he was a kitten. I never regretted a single day of my responsibility to him, to his welfare. I loved being pals with him on the journey for as long as it lasted.
As a kitten, he broke plates and glasses and stole food right off the dinner table and took off across the room with it; at night he attacked my feet and made me insane. As a grown cat, he had a finely-honed, foolproof way of pressing his claws against my neck in order to spring me awake from sleep to go feed him at 2 AM...
But he also spent most of his life just being in the same room with me, sleeping on the same bed with me at night, just being.
I was privileged to be there with him, and then to comfort him, to not leave his side until his journey was through and he crossed over.
And now, alas, I have some math homework to do here today. It is a really lovely fall-like day. And it makes me feel -- I don't know, bittersweet -- to think that Buster is in a better place where his body is cancer-free again and he can romp and play; comfort me and watch over me and continue to fill me with joy.
Thanks for visiting.
About Marilyn Jaye
Causes Marilyn Jaye Lewis Supports
The Film Council of Greater Columbus, Columbus, OH
The Adrienne Shelley Foundation, NY, NY
Paralyzed Veterans of America, Washington, DC...