Back in the Sixties I began studying yoga with a guru in San Francisco who rather jealously promoted strict celibacy. Not untypically, he later became involved in a sexual scandal. However, I learned much from him, and to his credit he promoted my poetry and urged me to publish it. At the same time, wanting some kind of balance, I began corresponding with a rather mad poetess in Manhattan who wrote to me about the absolutely necessity of orgasms – the more the better – and urged me to take a lover for each day of the week! Although this seemed extreme, I admired her stance, as it balanced my Guru’s. You see, I was looking for integration of opposites. I was searching for an ethical code, a way of being true to my nature and expanding awareness – such a Californian quest in the Sixties, the innocent Sixties when the sky was not smogged, and you could get by on comparatively little money and just a few hours of week of work – except that I was supporting my daughter, and I worked a full-time job..... Onwards with the story. Always trying to bridge opposites, to create a truth for me out of disparate elements, I am now reading Chogyam Trunpa’s The Heart of the Buddha, along with Tennesse Williams’ Memoirs, in a shabby, worn paperback edition I found in a discarded heap of books at Merritt College. What I admire about Tennessee is his honesty, which can be bone-painful. He is greatly entertaining, with his tales of non-stop sexual adventures with young males. He writes with such honesty, such truth, admitting his flaws, and yet his charm and brilliant self-awareness shine through The synthesis: Chogyam Trunpa, would have appreciated Tennesee’s honesty. True art, says Tennessee, has to be personal—that is its bedrock. Even if the personal is transmuted into science fiction, historical work, or a medium far removed from the confessional mode. His honesty provides a channel into our own natures. And so I continue relishing his confessional adventures, told with such charm, while rereading The Heart of the Buddha, and realizing that in a deep sense they connect.
Causes Maria Espinosa Supports
Amnesty International, KPFA, anything to ameliorate homelessness and to make shelters more livable