9:20am... I'm trading in my car ahead of schedule because it is...an absolute disaster. I could go on, but I don't really want to. It's sad, because that's my car, you know? Haha, I am taking this so personally, and it's a car. An inanimate object. But suffice it to say that the check engine light is constantly on, and I'm actually getting used to it. Also, the roof leaks. And that's an understatement. Tropical storm Fay almost drowned the car. I now have a mold problem in the trunk... yeah, it's time to move on. So, I'm driving my stepdad's 1980 corvette. Until the new car gets here. Number 125 out of 200 am I, so I am moving up the ladder. In the meantime, I have to deal with a car literally made out of steel and lead paint with no CD, tape deck, and a picky radio. Makes my morning commute so much fun.
The cool thing was that I found all these old tapes that belonged to my dad, they had this really meticulous handwriting on the cover that didn't look like my mom's handwriting at all. He was like, a music fiend. We still have his record collection, it is massive. I have no idea where his turntables wound up though. I hope they didn't get lost when my parents moved. Good stuff too, I was impressed. You know your dad is awesome if he was listening to The Clash. Van Halen I can do without, but Mustapha Dance kicks ass. Way to go, dad. The sucky part is that I can't play them. I had a really cool stereo that I gave away, literally gave away, to the Goodwill. I was irritated because it took up too much space in the cramped garage. I'm such a moron sometimes, I'm glad there isn't some kind of tax or money penalty because I'd be broke. Maybe I can dig up a Walkman somewhere, if they still make them!
11:00am... I want to get married. I bring it up because it's in the air lately. Not for me personally, but for my friends and my family. My uncle told me that my cousin and her boyfriend are looking for engagement rings together. I am so happy for her. For a few reasons, aside from the obvious. Of course I am thrilled for Sandy that she found a good egg to be with forever, or for a long time, or whatever it is we say these days. That, and I am pumped because it will be a huge, fun, beautiful, to-do. Haha, not my style or wish for myself, but I am never against going to someone else's wedding extravaganza. I actually prefer it for other people. It's what a wedding should be. Wedding-ish. I've been to three weddings (more on that in a sec) but if we're judging according to movie standards, I have yet to go attend any nuptials that rival Steel Magnolias or Father of the Bride. Some stunningly lavish event that shuts down a small town or something. I want to go to one of those. Hopefully my coz doesn't disappoint. She will never be a bridezilla, but she'll do it up style.
Her older sister did something way different. Um, her husband is a nice guy. She's a nice girl. We all made a trek out to Alaska two years ago for the blessed event. It was....dammit, it was a debacle. Her fiancee is a kook. I'm sorry, a kook. What was she thinking? What is she thinking? I should not write this, god forbid she reads it one day, but my god. But she loves him, yadda yadda. I am not being flip, I swear, I respect love and people who love each other. She loves him, like that's a good-enough justification for watching your family member tie herself down to a deadbeat. Wow, that was harsh. It's bad, but I mean it. It was a beautiful ceremony, okay, I'll give it that. But I always cry at weddings. Yeah, they are okay, decent people. And it isn't my problem, and I don't see them ever. We just all wanted (this is really horrible to say, but it is true) someone better for her. I think she can do better. I love her parents, they are the best and they work hard and they care so much about their kids. I wish she asked me what I thought before she did this. Ha, everyone should ask me! I will tell them what to do and help them! I am always right! I am! But she is happy. What can you do?
Also, my cousin Farrah got married last October. She and her now-husband were together for like, a decade when they decided to get married. That's fine, whatever you want. But he's like....worse, than Liz's husband? Farrah is stunning, she's tall and so pretty and smart and funny and just all around awesome. Her husband should be a freaking ten, a Ken doll of sweet. But he's this redneck? Their wedding....oh my god, I cannot believe my parents were there. And I was with them! My proper parents. The setting for a beautiful reception turned into a Clampets hoe-down. I was horrified. It was so distasteful, we all still don't talk about it ever. Haha, we're that appalled. I just wish we could all go to a nice wedding and it's our family, not friends. The standard is so lacking in my family when the women get married, I could get married in Vegas with Elvis as the minister and have a buffet at the Golden Nugget and my parents would think that reception was better. So would I, come to think of it. If there was a baby involved for both of these weddings, I would have an easier time understanding what the hell happened. But I don't even have that. I don't even have a baby deus ex machina to pin the misery upon.
So, I am excited for this upcoming wedding. Sandy's awesome, her soon-to-be fiancee is awesome, I like em both. I wish them well. I'll get my wish for a killer wedding. I just want to go to a wedding where I believe the couple has a fighting chance. Where they complement each other. Is that so hard? I just... I have standards for my family. Someone has to! I want the best for them. Friends, too. Marriage is too important, too final, to marry a guy with his own spitoon, or is a drunk, or smokes pot all day and won't work, or has no goals, or doesn't want to travel the world. I'm sure they have good qualities. But, wow. I guess I hope they change, but I don't have much hope. Adults get set in their ways. It's nice to think they don't, but most people do. I do. It would take something drastic to change who I am from day to day. And I would probably change for the worse. Statistically, we all get crankier and sadder and more frustrated with time.
But, I mean this sincerely... I really don't know what to take away from each experience. If I was supposed to learn something from observing each couple, I'm not sure what it is. I learned what not to do at my wedding. I guess I learned that love makes people do stupid things? I wanted to learn something positive. The only thing I can come up with is that happiness for people depends on the person. What made my cousins happy would make me miserable, but I'm not them and they are not me. Eh. I feel weird. I've been to a few normal weddings. But the people weren't related to me.
2:30pm... Finished up blogging for Toyota. It was fun, if a little repetitive. That, and I really don't have the time to upload and download images into my entries. Haha, does anyone seriously have the time for that? It amazes me how intricately involved some people's social networking sites are. I don't do that crap. I guess I'm usually outside or doing something else. What's the point? I said it for Toyota and I'll say it here....social networking sites creep me out, big time. It's the biggest false intimacy facade I can think of, akin to having sex with someone wearing a face mask, so you can't even tell who it is. Like in Eyes Wide Shut. Did you see that movie? Those sites are great for staying in touch with people, but if you're going to tell me you have a bond with someone you met over the internet and never met in person, shut up. That's not a person, it's a freakin web application. Typing on a computer is code. You're friends with code? With pictures? With emoticons? Way to go! I think sites like that take half the work out of meeting new people and really dialoguing with them. In person. The gravy of making new friends is completely gone with MySpace. Or Facebook. Or whatever the heck else is out there. It's weird. The best thing for me about making new friends is hanging out with them. Why mess with that? Some people are better at interacting with people through the computer than they are face to face. That can't be normal. And I haven't even mentioned that it could be a pervert you're dealing with. The Toyota blog was all about social networking sites and what you do. They call them influencers. You know who my influencers are? My parents. My friends. My co workers. People. I wanted to buy a car. I didn't go to a website. I went to my friend who knows about cars. Then I went to my parents for advice. Don't people do that anymore? Don't people deal with people? Don't people influence people?