‘Mara Buck lives in the woods. She hopes to leave one day.’ So reads the bio from my last submission. I felt it was succinct, catchy, even jingle-esque, but when pitted against those of my professional peers whose work is oft accepted, I now bow to convention and recognize that the pithiness of the above may not be appreciated by all. Thus, it is high time to write a real bio.
Finally! An enticing opportunity to write about an all-time favorite subject --- me, me, me. And let’s not forget myself and I. It appears the world is clamoring for information about the wonderfulness that is I. (First note: excelled in eighth-grade grammar, not included in prior bios, now to be added.)
Previously I leaned towards abbreviating whenever possible to use the least amount of columnar space. (Second notation: I must learn to expand that which was previously abbreviated into complete, complex and compound sentences to further augment the biography, from thence into paragraph structure.)
Ah, now to enhance the material in such a way as to shelter the delicate egos of those less fantastic than I, while still projecting myself into the stratosphere status of “She For Whom Imminent Publication Is Assured.” A delicate balance. There must be a handbook available. Another notation.
Also, there’s that pesky age thing. A lovely British author recently made her ‘debut’ at 82. Whereas I have decades before I approach such senior status, I am always cognizant that our society insists on adding a person’s age as a suffix to the name, as identifying as an AARP plastic card abruptly stating that one is no longer a Wunderkind. Reinterpreting the truth gets tricky however, since I’ll have to fit the fabulousness of all my accomplishments into a shorter span. Can I overlap? Will anyone notice? I’m getting out the calculator and that dog-eared calendar from the last century. This might take a little longer than anticipated.
Writing ‘all about me’ is not as easy as first assumed. Perhaps I could take a course in “creating one’s bio for fun and profit” and then naturally I will be perfectly justified to add said course to the biography. I shall make a notation.
Meanwhile, I think I’ll tweak my initial snappy statement. “Mara Buck lives in the woods. She intends to leave one day. Soon. ”
There. Significantly improved.
Causes Mara Buck Supports
Kennebec Valley Humane Society, Amnesty International