Make sure to include all available ammunition, accessories, heavy metal of all kinds; toss in a can of gun oil or two.
Ribbons, holiday paper to individual taste.
Gather a pailfull of rocks; granite is optimum.
Acquire coffin, hopefully sans occupant, but, if occupied, move body gently over and insert gun, rocks, ammunition et all.
Buy mortar mix, cement, at your convenient big box store, prepare according to instructions.
Fill all empty spaces in coffin with cement.
Winch up coffin, now phenomenally heavy, into u-haul, pickup, etc, perhaps even hearse if available.
Drive to nearest large body of water.
Reverse winching process.
Deposit, and watch sink to eternity.
Repeat, as often as necessary…
Causes Mara Buck Supports
Kennebec Valley Humane Society, Amnesty International