A good grudge is hard to find….make it last. It will sustain you through those annoying baby-kissing times, through sunshine and poems that rhyme and the potpourri of card-shops. Forgiveness? Bah, humbug! Am I being forgiving so that my own halo will shine brighter? Do I feel noble and all tingly inside? See how wonderful I am ---- I forgive you. Forgiveness? Tried it. Didn’t take to it. Perhaps I am a less-evolved human (I sincerely try not to drag my knuckles when I walk), but unless the object of my scorn, pain, or anger crawls to me sobbing on hands and knees with flowers, expensive chocolate, and promises to forever plow my driveway, forgiveness is way out of my league. I enjoy a first-rate vendetta.
Would I forgive Bernie Madoff? Hell, no. Do I feel sorry for his lifetime prison sentence? Nope, not at all. If some of the thousands who have personally suffered because of him find it more efficient to forgive, they are doing that which is best for themselves. I don’t believe forgiveness is “moving on” or “letting go.” Both can be logically accomplished by analyzing the situation and by closing the door on the one who wronged you --- with as much adequate compensation as possible of course. Wasn’t it Saint Oprah who said that forgiveness is not justifying the wrong nor condoning it, but a conveyance to allow yourself to move on? Forgiveness need not be that conveyance. Try rational thought instead. A logical examination of the facts that leads you towards a practical conclusion. Ferret out those facts as accurately as possible, and then move on with that greater knowledge to avoid similar situations in the future.
If forgiveness were the final solution, the psychiatrists’ couches would be empty.
Causes Mara Buck Supports
Kennebec Valley Humane Society, Amnesty International