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Where Do Lost Names Go?


Where Do Lost Names Go?


     There are only at least two kinds of names in this world, at least as far as I’m concerned: the ‘kept’ ones and the ‘lost’ ones. Now where your name falls in these categories is not my problem. What concerns me, after all, are the lost names. For this column to reek with geekness since we, geeks, won’t settle for less, here’s a list of my theories:


1. The Stair-Chair Phenomena

     Whoever told you lost names cannot be found in the academe is either a dim-witted intellectual-wanna-be or a complete moron. Everyday, you step on these very names for they belong to the ones who couldn’t scribble anything more than their names on the test paper. So abominable it is that these names revolted due to over-use and settled to be the stairs you mount to. (Note, however, that they were devalued even more into pathetic fart-absorbers of students with nothing to do but sit idly in them while you, Ms. Goody-two-shoes who wouldn’t dare miss a class, nearly trip over).

2. The Case of Devoluted Names

    In case you are too smart not to know (and for the purposes of semantics), evolution has its counterpart, devolution. From being high ranking, certain names devolved into just ‘so-so’ names like that of a politician, who after realizing none of his tall-tale promises lands in a murky pit, a lavish playground of pigs. No longer is his name remembered and when someone does, he becomes Mr. Jekylle and Hyde. (creepy)

3. The Law of Oversupplied Brain foods

     A stunted physical growth is a big fuss for guys no more than their concern for their stunted mental evolution. Not generalizing though, some guys had their brains on their crotch (so much for the rules of impeccable behavior) and their names are hanging somewhere from occasional episodes of dementia to complete oblivion. They are oozing with megalomaniac confidence that they thought every girl would swoon over them given the slightest provocation. Their names became tired of sticking in their asses that they itched to be brain foods so much that there is now an oversupply of these in the market.

4. Nasty propositions and commotions.com

     Yes, if you are thinking of those proposals lacking of ‘rational art’ while reading the subtitle, then you are having a communion with my brain cells. With these legislators pushing for the ‘right to reply’, our world of ‘truth’ is doomed. The names of these proponents peter out to be the ‘blog site names’ of fanatics who have nothing else to gossip about but the love life of their favorite actors-slash-commercial faces. These sites are rarely visited and the kinds that you want to just kick out if you happen to be a moderator or something. Then there are these names that did nothing else but tell in details their s*xscapade and flaunt this B-rated video of their former classmate. These names become voice records that no one dared listen to. Just hearing them makes you sick to your stomach; you want to throw a fit.    

     Now where do lost names go? You tell me and I’m sure we’re gonna have an eternity of conversation.