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Luke James's Blog

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Mar.09.2012
PONTINS MATCHES: YOU & MISERY
PONTINS  I hate Pontins. I mean, have you ever met anyone who liked Pontins Holiday Camps? It’s more like two weeks on the set of The Great Escape than a sodding holiday. I was only fifteen and, despite the fact that I was the future king of underground hippy culture, God’s imminent gift to...
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Mar.04.2012
Just Like Dad
Back in England in 1962 sweets were every bit as important to me as any modern child's sugar-delivery system of choice. A lot of those mostly long-vanished Anglo candies seem quite exotic to me now, especially when I stand with my six and seven-year-olds as they anguish over what to choose from the...
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Feb.25.2012
OM
As I get older, I find myself increasingly surrounded by people my own age. They tend to go on and on about which bits of them are failing, often trying to deal with this by sharing jokes about failing sex drive, deafness, forgetfulness, even dementia, and a host of other subjects that are about as...
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Feb.21.2012
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Every now and then, I like to feel connected to writing and real writers, so I subscribe to one of those writing magazines. Makes me feel I’m doing something positive towards my efforts to write, and you never know I might read an article that shows me how to write brilliantly, get published,...
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Feb.19.2012
PUSSY RIOT
It’s all well and good to have had Messrs. Rotten and Vicious banging on about no future, safely back in the past, in free-speech Britain. Even The Rolling Stones were viewed as a threat to civilization further back in 1965 and did many of the same things as the Pistols: pissed in public, cussed on...
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Feb.17.2012
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In the beginning there was Elvis, and Colonel Tom said:  “Let there be Hollywood. And let Elvis go to Hollywood and make mediocre musicals each three of which will make enough money to bankroll decent films like Beckett with Peter O’Toole and Richard Burton. And Elvis was temporarily enslaved...
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Feb.16.2012
Peter Cook
ACTOR OR COMEDIAN? In Shakespeare’s time the roles were usually more clearly defined, even within each performance. You had your tragic kings and murderous behind-the-scenes wives and servants, and then you had your Bottoms, prancing about wearing a donkey’s head. Even if we now often don’t...
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Feb.13.2012
Hugh Laurie in Black Adder
Am I the only person in USA happy that House has finally ended? I watched one episode and found it gross and clichéd in its plotting, recognizing though that Hugh Laurie’s acting skills were most likely the main (only?) thing that could ever give yet another series about the American TV public’s...
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Feb.09.2012
ESTHER FREUD
Things you never thought you'd hear youself saying: Thank you Sigmund Freud's great-grandaughter.  I'm final proof-reading out loud my soon to be published novel Mud Hut Man, so thank you Esther Freud, especially for tip #2!  1. Cut out the metaphors and similes. In my first book I...
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Feb.08.2012
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If We Still Had Prehensile Tails – 10 Things that Would Be Different 1.   Couches, chairs and especially toilet seats wouldn’t be the same shape. 2.   Camera tripods, shooting sticks, and hanging straps in subway trains would never have evolved. 3.   Teenagers (and...
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Feb.05.2012
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I was at this party in a derelict hotel. The party was Mulligan’s, a shadowy leather boy I’d only heard of in passing whispers of disquiet. Along crumbling hallways I lurched, spliffed and looking for a light, past occasional knots of revelers, half-open doors like half-open eyes squinting at...
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Feb.02.2012
WISE CHICKEN.jpg
When I was a boy there was a comedy duo on television called Morcambe and Wise. Eric Morcambe and Ernie Wise were the nation’s favorites, and became the very essence of Christmas. Never mind the kid in the stable, or the Queen’s speech, or even the dinner, the highlight of the day (after the...
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Jan.30.2012
ANDROIDS
Android mall virus conspiracy? Perhaps it’s because I’m currently reading Christopher Buckley’s wonderfully sick novel, Thank You For Smoking, or perhaps it’s because I live in a culture that thrives on conspiracy theories. But when I read an article this morning on the Network World web site this...
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Jan.28.2012
COPYRIGHT: HUNT EMERSON
I think my old Dad used to listen to a band called the Sexy Pistols. Way back before that last wave of really great bands came out of Scotland. He says the Pistols were from London – which is pretty hard to believe as now all that comes outta London these days is gay comedians, bagpipe rock, and...
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Jan.25.2012
CandlePad
I'm in bed, it's 6.28AM and I'm only half awake. I’m doing some deep breathing, slowly feeding oxygen to my brain. Ideas are starting to bubble. Yesterday, I would have had to get out of bed, put the light on, and grab a pen and paper to scribble semi-legible spider words. Or wait the five minutes...
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