Stairway To Nowhere by Luke James

$15.75

Paperback

Lucky Eric and Lobster Ron stand at the graveside, shivering in the bitter wind. They are the only mourners. Lobster Ron leans forward and tosses a vial of pills into the grave. It bounces on top of the coffin, popping the lid and spilling small blue pills across the polished wood. Lucky Eric nods at the priest, who in turn signals the gravedigger. Earth starts to thud down onto Jimmy The Con’s coffin.

“Won’t be the same without him.” Lucky Eric says.

“A bit quieter anyway.”

“Shouldn’t talk ill of the dead, Ron.”

Ron stamps his feet on the frozen ground and blows into his hands.

“Not easy though is it Eric. Not to, I mean.”

“He was indeed one of the most vicious, heartless bastards I ever met.” Lucky Eric says.

Lobster Ron stares down into the rapidly filling grave.

“He’d have liked that Eric.”

“I know. Still, doesn’t do to be too morbid. Even at a funeral.”

“I’d say, especially at a funeral. I remember when Sid Vicious died-“

“Not now Ron ,eh?”

Lobster Ron looks glum. Eric pulls a flask from inside his overcoat.

“Nip, Ron?”

“Don’t mind if I do.”

He takes the silver flask and drains it. Then shakes it as if doing so might dislodge some mysteriously jammed whiskey.

“Sorry Eric. Wasn’t thinking.”

“Not to worry. Let’s go back to the club, eh.”

They begin to thread their way through the sparse scattering of tombstones near the cemetery’s back gate.

“How’s the dog?” Lobster Ron asks.

“Blind.” Eric says. “One bullet grazed its skull and fucking blinded it. The other actually ricocheted back into Jimmy’s face.”

“So it’s still alive?”

“Oh yes.”

“Surely they’ll have it put down, Eric?”

“I wouldn’t be too sure Ron. These days they’ll probably find it a seeing eye person.” Lucky Eric says bitterly. “Fucking life today, eh.”

“I know.” Lobster Ron sighs.

They step out onto the High Street just in time for a bus and two taxis speed past them.

“I fancied a walk anyway.” Lobster Ron says.

“I reckon Jimmy’s better off out of it. I mean, it’s probably for the best Ron.” Lucky Eric says. “His life just wouldn’t have been worth living, would it.”

“Give a dog a bone, eh Eric?” Lobster Ron says.