I think my old Dad used to listen to a band called the Sexy Pistols. Way back before that last wave of really great bands came out of Scotland. He says the Pistols were from London – which is pretty hard to believe as now all that comes outta London these days is gay comedians, bagpipe rock, and London Idol dreck. Still he dribbles and mumbles a lot these days so it’s hard to tell what he’s on about a lot of the time.

“We had real bands then ...with decent songs...not like the dross that you call music these days ... songs ... songs with a tune you could smash someone’s face in to ... and good names like Rotten and Vicious and Scabies ...”

That sort of thing. Poor old sod.

I know they had these things called “records” that were big, flat, black plastic buggers – their players must have been wopping to fit them in. When I was a nipper, we found a stack of them back in the corner of the garage. They made great skimmers, until we accidentally hit that pigeon. Made a right old mess of him it did and all. Then they had little tape things called “cassettes” that sound like them things me sister uses when she gets her period, innit. Anyway, I think then they had Ate Tracks whatever they were but then CDs and finally they got to MP3s which I understand ‘cos they’re files but they still had to use some sort of little machine to listen to the music – with things stuck in their ears, if you can believe that. No wetware in those days. The poor buggers had to work to get their entertainment back, then. Still, I expect they were happy enough in their own way. Life was slower, must have been easier, I imagine.