where the writers are
SOUND MAN (part 5)
BBC Pebble Mill

“Will you look at her!” a model slinked past me and Mulligan. We were both grinning like ferrets.

“I wish I had more than one pair of eyeballs – oh my god look at the tits on— ” Dik's voice died in wonder.

“It’s not bleedin' possible.” Miki said.

“Unlikely, I’ll grant you.” I said, “But nature is occasionally overly benevolent.

“What? No, no, you lecherous old sod not her tits, the levels!”

“The what?” Mulligan asked.

“Will you lot please tear yourselves away from the tart brigade for two minutes and listen. This is important. It’s about the ludicrously low volume levels they insisting we record this TV show at. You should see the steam-driven old PA they’ve got. We are talking BBC World Service circa 1929, not 19 sodding 79!”

“Doesn’t he get excited.” Dik said.

“Good job someone does. Or you’ll end up making your TV debut sounding like a wet fart in a blanket.”

“Nothing new there then.” Annette said.

“Oy. Do you mind? That’s enough of that. She’s spending far too much time with us you know. It’s definitely having a bad effect on her.” I said. “Tell me about it.” Annette said. Then to Miki, ”So what can we do about it?”