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Old Age

There has been a discussion about Old Age at the World Mythology and Folklore Society . I started that, because I´ve been thinking about that very often. I´m not happy with the way we try to avoid getting old these days. Since I do want to get old, and that means I want to be an elderly lady some day, I´m trying to be prepared for that, little by little.

I only met one grandparent in person. I´m from a later "batch" in my family; my paternal grandparents and my maternal grandmother had already  died when I was born.  My maternal grandfather Edmundo (aka Sr. Cardoso) was a regular at my home. He didn´t live there, but he was always there, filling the house with his heavy and tall physique and his wonderful, loud laugh. He had a bad temper sometimes, but it never scared me. He was what is called a larger-than-life character.

 My brothers and I  truly appreciated his company. We listened to his stories and were always asking him questions, as if he were some sort of expert in life. He loved that. You could tell it by a smile he had hidden in the corner of his wrinkled mouth. He was an old man who loved being appreciated, who never complained of getting old, of not being able to do this or that. He simply tried to find new things he was able to do, and fondly remember the ones he had left behind. Besides, age never interfered with his three main occupations :  crosswords, reading, and discussing politics at the Aquarius Café.

Many people say I inherited his temperament. My father even called me Sr. Cardoso sometimes. As for me,  I´m honored. I just hope one day my grandchildren will appreciate my company. I´ll certainly have a smile hidden for them at the corner of my very wrinkled mouth.

Senhor Edmundo Cardoso, on his 70th birthday. I´m the one with both hands on his shoulder:

Edmundo Cardoso

 

Comments
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Wonderful photo, Luciana!

Wonderful photo, Luciana! Love all the groovy sweaters. It looks as though you were a "Grandpa's girl."

So far, I am embracing age, but most people tell me I look younger than my years, so maybe it is easier for me than for some people. I don't think getting plastic surgery or lying about my age is for me.

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Those were the seventies.

Those were the seventies. You can tell by the sweaters and by people´s hair. :-D

Corrective plastic surgery is a good thing, and many people really need it. But some people are just never happy with the way they look, and do that unnecessarily. I think the key is trying to be happy with the way you look, and that lies more in your mind than in your body or in your face. There are many attractive older people that, when you look at them, you realize that is because they feel alive more than their features looking younger.

I haven´t met you in person, Ellen, but reading what you write, you do "sound" full of life, and that makes me imagine you younger.

 

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Growing older

I agree, its a great family photo; even in the picture, he has a significant presence.
It's funny, some of the foundational things we contemplate in Buddhism are sickness, old age and death, as a basis of embracing impermanence. That growing old and dying is inevitable. Yet actually experiencing aging is another matter, I find. I am only 52, but very aware that things I took for granted have changed eg flexibility and suppleness. I can see that contemplation and living through the process of aging are not one and the same thing. But I believe contemplation is a great preparation!

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Hi, Kunzang! I know," easier

Hi, Kunzang! I know," easier said than done". I feel like that sometimes. Like last week when I was really upset I could not  do my ballet steps as swiftly as I used to. My ballet instructor looked at me and said: what do you think? you´re 39 and have 2 children, you´re not Odette (from the Swan lake) anymore, you know.And then we both started laughing. She was right, I was being very silly.

But my point here is not to get caught in the vicious circle I sometimes see around me, of people trying to stop time at any cost.   I don´t know very much about Buddhism, but I find the acceptance of impermanence that you mentioned  essential to break that circle.  And believe me, I´ve learned about the inevitability of disease and death very early in life.  I try to be, as you say, contemplative, hoping that I can learn from that.

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Luciana, Old age is

Luciana, Old age is interesting to me, I write about it often. I believe internal and external forces influence the process. My mother in law is eighty six and lives in California, a painter she sitll manages to drive her own car and be totally independent. If I took the same woman in this country she would be in a nursing home with one foot in the grave. I think climate, an avid interest in a personal pursuit and a good attitude all contribute to longevity. M

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Yes, those three are a very

Yes, those three are a very good combination.
I sometimes notice that when they look at active elders, like your mother-in-law, people admire them and say they want to be like them, but forget to ask the elders what they were like when they were younger.
Some people are born old already, some others get frustrated when they finally realize they got old, and some others, paradoxically, will never grow "old" though they become elders, because they know that life has to end one day, and live it as fully as they can.

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Only the two of you in the photo!

Luciana, I think about this photo often. There seem to be only you and your Grandfather in the photo with the birthday cake at the center, forming a sort of triangle composition.

You look very confident and possessive with both your hands lying on his shoulder and arm. He is leaning towards you just a bit, exactly enough to show the bond that existed between the two of you.

I'm wondering if the fact you are standing between your Grandmother (his wife?) and your Grandfather is significant? (perhaps subconsciously?)