There are a myriad of ways to approach life—the clichéd glass half full, glass half empty paradigm comes immediately to mind. But a little laughter is a great way to deal with life--the good, the bad and the ugly. (Thanks to the Clint Eastwood movie of the same name for this catchy phrase—cannot tell you how many times I have used it). I have a friend who sends me emails that have been sent to her that she thinks will make my life better, and many times they do (as I use them for the jumping off point for many a column.) Well, here again is part of an email she sent me that made me smile—in fact a couple were actually lol (one of the only short forms I understand).
Without further ado, I present two sections of a three part email she forwarded—the other section I did not find all that funny so I thought I would not burden you with it. This section is called “Great Truths that Children Have Learned”. (My responses are in brackets—just like this):
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. (How many times have you tried to make a cat do your bidding? They are so independent, except when it comes to treats. We can get our cat, Kitty Bob, to do almost anything for treats—we just have to rattle the package and he comes running—almost like that commercial on TV where the cat smashes through walls for a treat. Fortunately we are a little more evolved than the guy on the commercial—we make sure the doors are open.)
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. (self-explanatory)
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. (so true, and both of you get spanked—I speak from experience)
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. (unless you want spaghetti sauce)
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food. (unless it is vegetables)
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. (no-- this does not explain my bad hair days!)
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time. (or attempt to vacuum your cat—again, I speak from experience)
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. (or a brussel sprout)
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. (good advice even today)
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap. (the best place to be period when you are a little kid, is Grandma’s lap. Second best is near the cookie jar, or at my grandma’s—near the drawer in her desk where she kept chocolate bars).
The second section deals with “Great Truths That Adults Have Learned”:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree. (an eternal truth)
2) Wrinkles don't hurt. (if you don’t look in the mirror)
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts. (love this one)
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground. (there’s hope for us nuts yet)
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside. (is a smile like walking?)
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy. (please tell me this isn’t true)
The email ends with words to the effect that you should enjoy life as it is too short to waste. I am reading a book right now that takes this little saying to task. Called “The Art of Uncertainty”, the author, Dennis Merritt Jones believes that life is “too long” not to enjoy it. I like this theory; life really is too long to be miserable. I also like what Abraham Lincoln is purported to have said: “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” My advice: Choose the toy instead of the fibre.