She tells me she loves me, and I wonder if she can feel my body tense as I lay across her. I tell her the same, and wonder if I mean it. I did, once, at least I think I did. Time plays tricks on willing hearts and I wonder how things have become so complex. The night sky torches any sense of reality and I wonder just how deep I should go. I wonder if I can see straight in this crooked maze. I am the "other" woman for the first time in my life, and I wonder how her girlfriend would feel if she knew. I wonder how I can do this and still look at myself in the mirror. Guilt flirts with my soul and I wonder how much longer this will go on before I realize that I am stuck in quicksand. I wonder if she even cares. Do I mean anything, anything at all, or am I just the one she comes calling on when the nights are a little too lonely, the air a little too cold? I wonder if I care, or if having a tainted piece of her is better than having no part of her at all.
I wonder and I wait.