She tells me she loves me, and I wonder if she can feel my body tense as I lay across her.  I tell her the same, and wonder if I mean it.  I did, once, at least I think I did.  Time plays tricks on willing hearts and I wonder how things have become so complex.  The night sky torches any sense of reality and I wonder just how deep I should go.  I wonder if I can see straight in this crooked maze.  I am the "other" woman for the first time in my life, and I wonder how her girlfriend would feel if she knew.  I wonder how I can do this and still look at myself in the mirror.  Guilt flirts with my soul and I wonder how much longer this will go on before I realize that I am stuck in quicksand.  I wonder if she even cares.  Do I mean anything, anything at all, or am I just the one she comes calling on when the nights are a little too lonely, the air a little too cold?  I wonder if I care, or if having a tainted piece of her is better than having no part of her at all.

I wonder and I wait.