Do you have a problem, say, how to run your company or government, or how to fix social security? Well, you should probably be talking to my wife, who is also known as Empress Ruth. Let me tell you, the world would be a much better place if everyone would just throw up their hands, cry uncle, and turn over every concern, large and small, to my wife.
Take automobile design, for example. Empress Ruth thinks there should be something called a Seniors Car, an automobile that would be designed from the ground up with old people in mind. Her concern of the moment is that, because of her arthritis, it’s getting more and more difficult for her to get in and out of our little Mazda 3. [Commercial interruption: Zoom-Zoom.] The seats are too low for her. So the first bit of ergonomics for the car would involve the distance from the road surface to the ass-compressed front and rear car seats, which would be about six inches higher than the Mazda seats.
So far, we haven’t seen a single car or truck that meets that criterion, but we continue to go from showroom to showroom, Empress Ruth armed with her handy tape measure, pushing aside salesmen to take the measurement, shake her head in disgust, and storm from the showroom.
I offered her an alternative solution, but so far, she’s rejecting it. My solution would involve a seat that swivels toward the open door and thrusts the occupant out onto the sidewalk with enough force to get them standing, but not enough force to start them on an Olympic tumbling run.
Empress Ruth raises her eyes to the ceiling at that and says, “The Empress is not pleased.”