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Naming Rights
bibliomaniac
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By a quirk in the law, I obtained naming rights to a county road in West Virginia. Okay, it’s not a “road.” Neither is it a “street.” And although the county calls it a “lane,” it is nothing more than a rutted dirt driveway. The kicker is that it is more than a quarter of a mile long, which makes it a “lane.”

The “lane” starts at a real road with asphalt and stripes and signage, and then meanders darkly through the woods and up a hill to a new home “with mountain view on four acres.”

So our assignment was to come up with a name for [Fill in the Blank] Lane. And we came up with a ton of really creative names. Unfortunately, all those names were already “taken,” so after listening to “taken” repeated over and over again on a long phone call between us and the county clerk responsible for such things, we opted for “Sleepy Look Lane.”

Not inspiring by any means, but it sort of fits. The home overlooks Sleepy Creek Mountain, so the “Sleepy” part works. And the “Look” can be taken two ways, which pleases my wife, who is an ardent fan of double- entendre.

As it turns out, though, naming the lane was the easy part. With rights come responsibilities. Guess who has to maintain the lane? Guess who has to provide a street sign manufactured to government specs? Guess who has to notify the post office and the fire department of the existence and whereabouts of said lane?

Yep.

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