12-Gauge Mistletoe
I love learning things in unusual ways. Case in point, mistletoe. I always thought it belonged to that class of plants that Monty Python would call “shrubbery.” But, in fact, it’s a parasitic plant that lives its life in the branches of hardwood trees. Who knew?
I found this out thanks to the actions of a man at my local shopping mall. Seems he wanted to collect some mistletoe from the trees in the parking lot for his seasonal kissing activities, and knew exactly how to go about it.
Much to the horror of holiday shoppers, he went to his truck, pulled out his 12-gauge shotgun, and began shooting at the mistletoe. Then he collected the fallen treasure, climbed into his truck, and drove away.
He didn’t get far.
When pulled over by police, he seemed genuinely surprised that shooting mistletoe, or as the police put it, “discharging a firearm in public,” was a crime.
He is now in jail. The whereabouts of the mistletoe is unknown.
Seasonal kissing may be delayed.
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About Len
Born in a hospital that has since been torn down, grew up on a street that has since changed its name, in a house that has since changed its number. Everywhere around me my life seems to be erasing itself. Before the eraser finishes its work, however, I spend...
Parasitic
Len,
Mistletoe is a beautiful parasite. As a Master Gardener, I find plants fascinating, especially the weird and poisonous ones.
Thanks for sharing some of your local flavor. The police can be such Scrooges.
Jules
Shotguns in the Garden
I guess the magazine Garden and Gun is onto something, at least here in Decatur, Georgia. Come to think of it, shotgun pruning might be a lot of fun . . .
Lissen here, buddy...
You can delay your holiday kissing if you want, but my lips is primed, & I'm ready for some sweet seasonal lipsmack, mistletoe or not. Get outta my way or pucker up.
Kissing bandit
LOL
harvesting
The little kids in the family were eager to make some packets of mistletoe to sell at the Xmas boutique at church. It never happened though. They couldn't find a heroic tree-climber to gather some growing 25 feet above the lawn.
Never thought of taking aim and having it reach the ground without being strenuously fetched. Will keep the method in mind for next year.