The Usefulness of Canes

                                    for Beth and the girls

They are good for beating snakes

 If you find yourself in a rural area walking across a field and

 A snake slithers across you naked ankle and

 You are walking with a cane

            as I now am

                        and you cannot run away

            as I cannot

                        and you cannot yell “SNAKE” to elicit the aid of others

            as I now cannot 

Then

You can use the cane to beat the snake or

 If able, crush its head

 Job well done

They are good for squishing bugs

 Very good for squishing slow bugs and spiders

 Not good at all for squishing flying bugs

            don’t even try it

                        especially if you must use a cane to walk

            because you damn well will not be able to run

            once the wasp, bee, hornet, or whatever the hell deadly creature

            starts chasing you for trying to kill it!

 Keep it simple

 Ground bugs only (slows ones are best)

 Unless the flying bugs are injured and on the ground then

 Squish Away!

And

 As we all know

 They are good for leaning

 but I prefer to lean on the arm of my Honey, my big Eagle Man

                        but that is a different story

                                                                           and, I suspect, a much better poem

Copyright © Leah Maines 2012