I have always admired leaders, but never really wanted to be one. I’m a follower. Leaders are always in the spotlight, I’m shy. Sometimes they have to make decisions that others don’t like, I’m a people-pleaser. Innovators have to persevere to the end, I’m a procrastinator. They must be confident and have faith, I’m scared. No, I haven’t always had the qualities that make a good pioneer or trendsetter, but I am getting better. When I grow up maybe I will be more like my friend, Lola.
Lola is a go-getter. She is confident and self-assured. Whenever Lola has a vision, she prays about it and waits patiently for the answer. Then she sets the wheels a-turning and moves forward. Lola never lets fear hold her back. If she gets off the path, she asks for help and gets redirected.
For example, Lola wrote a novel last year during November’s NaNoWriMo. She took December off; but once January rolled in, Lola began the editing process. After months of proofing and revising, she sent her story to a publisher. Now she waits, but has started another project. Everything is moving forward as it should. I wish I had Lola’s tenacity.
I, on the other hand, have three incomplete novels. Well, they are complete, but not polished. All they do is take up space in the byte-mosphere and the dark recesses of my anxious mind. I get to a certain spot and become derailed. What is it I am afraid of? Rejection? Probably. I wish I had an agent, but do nothing about it. Do I expect someone to come knocking on my door? Maybe. Am I just a down-right quitter? Hmmm… Definitely not!
Growing up, I was always allowed to quit things I didn’t like even if it was in the middle of the year or season. One time in gymnastics, they made me do some flip-backwards-over-the-monstrous-bar thingy. Bye-bye gymnastics. In volleyball, I was benched until the second half. Bye-bye sports. A job made me do something I didn’t like (can’t tell). Bye-bye job. I hated myself for that. I no longer quit. Perhaps that’s a start.
I want to be like Lola now, especially since I have reunited with my true passion of writing. I’m trying. I will not give up, either. You want to know why? Lola is me, and I am ready to discover where the road leads. I hope you follow me.
Causes Laurie Kolp Supports
Humane Society, March of Dimes, Red Cross