The Moment One Person Showed Up: So there I was, on my way to doing an event at the local Barnes and Noble, which had asked me to come. [It feels important to emphasize that they asked me, I didn’t ask them, so I can’t be accused of bringing this on myself.] I’d already done several events in the area in the weeks since my debut novel had come out and I wasn’t the type of person to ask my friends and family to come to more than one. Really, I’d done so many local events, probably everybody who’d wanted to see me had already done so, I figured as I drove. Turned out, I was just about right. There wound up being exactly one person in my audience: a little girl, maybe ten years old if that, in pigtails and glasses, carrying a notebook and pen. She wanted to be a writer and was looking to get the inside scoop. Well, given her age, I couldn’t very well read excerpts of my book or try to sell her a copy, since The Thin Pink Line is an adult comedy about a crazy lady who fakes an entire pregnancy. So I spent the next hour answering her questions about the glamorous writing life as she took notes in her notebook. Whenever she looked at me, I swear her expression said: Loser. When I grow up and become a published author, you better believe more people will be in my audiences than one kid with a notebook.