"How to Succeed in the 2000s"

I’ll pull some hair.

I’ll kick a head.

I’ll toss a drink.

I’ll scratch blood red.

I’ll roll my eyes.

I’ll spit, I’ll stare.

I’ll throw a punch.

I’ll yank a chair.

I’ll make a page.

I’ll write a post.

I’ll YouTube it

(I’ll find a host).

I’ll drink and drive.

I’ll steal.

I’ll thrive.

Because you’ll make me famous.