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And Then I'll Be Happy! Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness and Put Your Own Life First
And Then I'll Be Happy! Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness and Put Your Own Life First
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Kristen gives an overview of the book:

You shouldn't place your happiness last. Taking care of your needs and goals makes perfect sense.If you are happy, fulfilled, and value yourself by being the person you want to be, then you enhance not only your own life but everyone around you. If you constantly place yourself last on your exhaustive to-do list, you are not valuing your own life and no one benefits, least of all you. "This book is for anyone who's ever sacrificed her own happiness trying to make someone else happy . . . who's assigned her happiness, one more time, to some future date. It's no big deal, happiness can wait, right? Wrong! It doesn't have to wait. With "...And Then I'll Be Happy!", Kristen Houghton, a former saboteur of her own happiness, gives women the tools they need to shake off the unhappiness epidemic. In a beguiling blend of practical advice and humor, she debunks the...
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You shouldn't place your happiness last. Taking care of your needs and goals makes perfect sense.If you are happy, fulfilled, and value yourself by being the person you want to be, then you enhance not only your own life but everyone around you. If you constantly place yourself last on your exhaustive to-do list, you are not valuing your own life and no one benefits, least of all you.

"This book is for anyone who's ever sacrificed her own happiness trying to make someone else happy . . . who's assigned her happiness, one more time, to some future date. It's no big deal, happiness can wait, right? Wrong! It doesn't have to wait. With "...And Then I'll Be Happy!", Kristen Houghton, a former saboteur of her own happiness, gives women the tools they need to shake off the unhappiness epidemic. In a beguiling blend of practical advice and humor, she debunks the myths about how and when women find happiness. Houghton presents true stories of women who put their happiness on hold for different reasons, provides tips on what readers can do to avoid a similar problem, and identifies the major mindsets that keep women from happiness. True stories and practical advice for women about how to feel better today. With this book, women everywhere-whether in the midst of their careers, choosing to be stay-at-home moms, or caring for aging parents-can put their happiness right where it belongs: in the present. I recommend this book to all women and to the men who love them."

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Introduction: The Elusive State of Happiness You’ve done it again. You sacrificed your own happiness trying to make someone else happy. You assigned your happiness, one more time, to some future date, “in a galaxy far, far away.”     Hey, it’s no big deal, your happiness can wait. After all, you have to make sure everyone else in your life is happy before you even can consider being so! Only good little girls who sacrifice their lives for every single person in their small universe are allowed to be happy, right?     It is also possible that you may be a “settler”—a woman who feels she may never get what she wants and so sabotages her chances for happiness by settling for less than she should have. It is unfortunately too common a practice for women. You may settle for less of a relationship, less of a career, less of a home, all because you feel that what you really want is way out of your range. In settling you undermine your prospects for happiness and become another woman who thinks that she will be happy sometime, somehow in the future. Some women settle for marriage and motherhood because they’re told that this is what they  should want.    But not all women are cut out to be wives and mothers. Settling for what others tell you that you should have shortchanges your own life’s value. Perhaps you’re trying to be the “perfect” woman who has it all, does it all well, and never makes a mistake in anything. After all, you’re a woman, and you are told that in the twenty-first century you not only can but absolutely must have it all! Perfect wife, perfect mother, perfect job; everything perfect including your mental breakdown from trying to keep up with all that perfection!    Maybe you have a victim mentality, blaming fate and others for your unhappiness. You see yourself as a someone who shouldn’t even try, and yet you hope that by some crazy miracle, happiness is waiting for you “somewhere out there”—future tense, of course.    Have you been conditioned to see happiness only as a future reward? It starts in childhood. Your parents tell you:“Be a good girl while we’re shopping and we’ll stop for ice cream.”“I’ll give you a dollar for every A you get on your report card.”“If you’re nice to your cousin while she’s visiting, I’ll buy you whatever you want.”The message is clear: Only after you do something good will you deserve to get something you want. It continues all through your school years and into your professional life. People tell you that if you do something now, you’ll be rewarded later. Work hard, harder, hardest; be good, better, best. Sacrifice the present for the future! It is hardly surprising that you feel you shouldn’t be happy if you haven’t been “good”!    Or perhaps you bought into the fairy tales fed to you by society and the media that tell you exactly when you can be happy. You know the messages: When you’re the right size, when you drive the right car, when you use the right deodorant, blah-blah-blah, the list goes on and on. Your happiness date is determined by what some highly paid marketing team, well schooled in the techniques of brainwashing, tells you is happiness.      

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A note from Kristen Houghton:
"I was one of these women who always put myself last. I was not doing what I really wanted to do and that was writing full-time. I had to make a change and I knew I was the only one who had the power to make that change.

After a little article I wrote called 'The Elusive State of Happiness' for The Huffington Post garnered thousands of email from women just like me, I decided that I had to give each and every one of them a voice by writing a book with healthy, practical advice "keys" that stress putting your own life first.

About Kristen

Kristen Houghton has been selected as the Featured Writer for the November issue of "The Horror Zine". Her short tale of terror, "The Shuttle Bus Man" will also be in the print version of "The Horror Zine". Houghton is an author and lifestyle journalist whose new book, ...

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Author's Publishing Notes

Remember Goldilocks and the Three Bears? Nothing was ever good enough for that girl! A master observer of women and relationships, Kristen Houghton uses her funny, warm, and deeply engaging style to open us up to the ways that we, as women, chronically postpone and deny our own happiness. As a clinical psychologist, I constantly see women in states of depression, low self-esteem, and body hatred. I am grateful to Kristen, who masterfully gets past our defensiveness to show us new ways to discover self-acceptance, inner peace and happiness. Thank you, Kristen, for your groundbreaking book. It’s about time someone addressed the concerns felt deeply in our hearts and showed us innovative, insightful ways to heal them! This book is a must read for any woman who puts herself last on her exhaustive ‘to do’ list.” —Maria Rago, PhD, Clinical Director, Rago & Associates Counseling Center; psychological consultant for women’s issues