I am not going to smoke my last bowl today, or this morning, it will make me tired and lazy, and burn me out and I already feel like shit, and I want to walk today around the city, I’m out of my stezaline, which is my anti depressant, just intaking my mood stabilizer, anti convulsant, anti anxiety and amphetamine pills. Just one anti depressant that doesn’t do the trick well. I’m so stupid for not getting a refill before I left for the city. What is my body going to do? I’m working on taking extra amphetamine pills, but they crash me out. And make me suck on my tongue and it gets raw. I want to buy something today, I have shopping fever, to waste my money. I want to buy a whig for the fuck of it. Just because I can. I need to make an appointment for prescription glasses, i can’t wait to get a prescription, no more feeling weird. I can’t wait. Next week for sure. Main priority. I’m sick of feeling weird. I hate my eyes, I bought 2.50 last nite, the strongest reading glasses so far yet, they are getting worse, and I think the reading glasses aren’t helping. My boy friend is horny this weekend, I must help him out before I leave for the week, poor guy, why MEN? Do you have those things, that are so active in play mode ready for action any time anywhere? You drive me crazy. Oh well, just fun and games. I got to get over my rape issue, it hit me just recently. I heard rape victims, a lot of them have incidents where they shave their head, subconsciously. And also wear a lot of jewelry and rings on every finger of their hand. I seem to have fit in that clan. Hiding behind my womanhood. But now I want my womanhood back. It will just take a few months till I get a short dew back on my head, hair is growing faster than I planned. I have a lot of greys. A lot. I only wish it was all grey, with no brown mixed in. I think since I cut it, more greys grew in, I notice since the last time I shaved my head. My dad went silver at the age of 20 something, I only remember him as a silver haired fox. He has the best hair ever, better than Steve Martin, he has an Aqua Net ritual. Using the same purple can since back in the day. He finally grew out a bit of a beard, always had a mustache, He’s loosening up. He’s looking good, he just has to get rid of his meat and fish and potato chip belly. But he would look weird with out it. I still don’t know what he is doing with my mom, but I give him props and think he is truly a MAN for sticking around his crazy wife. Because he is a catch, any woman he could probably get. Him and my mom just don’t mix, I still wonder how and why they even hooked up in the first place. They are so different. But age makes you different through the years, after raising children who are now over in their thirties and 40’s, and now grandparents. My dad though said once, my mom holds him together. He is kind of helpless when it comes to happiness. He needs to be needed, and my mom makes sure well to keep him busy, fixing and doing shit. He is jack of all trades. A carpenter, an engineer, a historian, a color specialist, a mechanic, a genius, a problem solver, good taste, a comedian, architect. He just has emotional problems. He has the hair of a hero.
Causes kelly rice Supports
Animal Abuse, Mental Health