On NPR there was a segment about political news junkies who can no longer get a good fix. The nation is coming down. How to come to terms with post election blues? Do you suffer from it? I think I may have a few symptoms.
For example, I don't know what to blog about. In comparison to the election my family seems boring and flacid and so I make them perform skits until I laugh or scoff.
I fantasize about a Palin family reality show. It would be like Northern Exposure meets Legally Blonde or Miss South Carolina meets Fargo or Men in Trees meets Jesus Camp or that Lifetime movie about a pregnant teenager meets that other Lifetime movie about the mom with five kids who thinks Africa is an outlet mall and NAFTA stands for National Association of Families That are Awesome.
I went to a methadone clinic in search of gaffes.
I watch Higgley Town Heros when my daughter's at school.
At the playground this little girl kept saying "Look what I can do, look what I can do!" and I said, "Look what I can do," and I pansed her.
At preschool open house I made D go on a wine run and when she came back without a wine opener I shook my head and said, "How could you? How could you do this to me?"
I'm just zoned out and I need help. Something has to happen. Everything pales in comparison to Nov. 4. It's like having a huge orgasm then turning to see a stranger with a back 'fro and butt acne.