1. Anything 'Gratin'
2. Any kind of alcohol
3. Watermellon Gum
5. Governor Bradford
6. Tribe Called Quest
7. Good books (currently reading Pat Conroy South of Broad)
8. The City, the Hills, Modern Family and Top Chef
9. Friends who I can be retarded in front of
10. The word, 'balls'
11. The word, "retarded'
I'm not thankful for:
1. People who call Thanksgiving 'T Day'
2. Dora books (they're all the frickin' same!)
3. Olivia Polermo, or whatever
4. Disney princess books and arguing with my daughter about what princesses can and cannot do. Daughter: "I can't wear jeans! Princesses don't wear jeans!" Me: "Yes they do! They do it off the page!" What I want to say: "Princesses suck and they're destined for a life of flower arranging and constant blowjobbing."
5. The Syntax Killa from Wasilla
6. People who don't say thank you or detect my disappointment
7. My little television
8. My little boobs
9. The cost of home (and self) improvements
10. The word, 'Genre'
11. The word, 'Nipples'