"If you don't get this thing out of me now, I'm going to kick you. Hard," she shrieked.
"Okay, Mrs. Smith. One more push. Now, breathe...keep pushing...Oh, I see the head."
"C'mon, sweetie. You're almost through. You can do it. Remember, it's just like riding a bike. It all comes back to you after the fourth time."
"Joe, if you open your mouth again, you're going straight to the operating room for a vasectomy," Susan grounded out, breathing heavily. Sweat dampened her hair and added to the dank, musty smell of the already warm hospital room.
"The head is out! Keep pushing--make it a big one this time, Mrs. Smith!" Dr. Lapp was bent between her legs, one hand buried in Mrs. Smith, one hand cradling a baby's head.
"Ahhhhhh!" Susan screamed, clutching the bed railings. With a loud ripping sound, a bloody, slimy lump landed in the doctor's hands.
"It's a boy!"
Nurses scurried around the room, hooking up machines, grabbing blankets and sponges to clean off the baby.
Other than the din of the nurses, nothing could be heard.
"Why isn't he crying?" Susan leaned up in the bed, holding her hands out for her child. "Let me hold him. For god's sake, what's wrong?"
The doctors, who seemed to have multiplied, huddled over an incubator, a swaddled bundle lying below.
"Why isn't my baby crying?"
"Calm down, Mrs. Smith. Your baby is a bit unusual. The heartbeat is fine, but the baby seems to be in a coma." Dr. Lapp came closer to the bed where Joe was nervously gripping Susan's hand.
"What? A coma? How? I..."
"We thought you said the baby was healthy!" Joe demanded.
"Yes, well, there's more. Your son doesn't have a normal umbilical cord. Instead, he has...uh, what looks like, uh, an..."
"Just say it, damnit. What's wrong with our son?" Red-faced, Joe was having trouble standing by Susan's bed and not tearing across the room to rescue his son.
"Well. He has instead what looks liek an extension cord. Like the kind you plug into an outlet. This has never occurred before, to our advanced knowledge, so we're not sure how to proceed...." Dr. Lapp refused to look either of the parents in the eyes when he spoke the last part.
A quiet, high-pitched crying that was coming from the table surrounded by men in white coats cut the doctor's ramblings short. The crying was distinctly from a baby, but barely audible above a constant, rumbling static. It sounded as if a dog's chew toy had been stepped on accidentally, emitting a tinny, high-pitched, hollow cry.
"Someone turn off that stupid TV!" Dr. Lapp boomed.
"Is that my baby crying?" Susan smiled, tears running down her face.
A man in a white coat approached quickly. "Doctor, sir. The baby is out of the coma. All vital signs, including brain activity, look great."
"What happened? What did you do?"
"Well, sir, we plugged the baby in. Figured it was worth a shot. turned the kid on like a light switch. The minute the cord touched the outlet, besides that strange static, he started bawling like normal."