It has now been a month and a half since I joined Match.com. Not a ton of time, mind you, but enough to get a feel of the site. Here's what I've learned:
First, people, especially men, hate reading. Plain and simple. For me, longer emails are great. They actually give details, ask questions, and stimulate intellectual conversation (well, most of the time). I love them; but what I've found is that when I send longer emails in response to a short one, it becomes a turn-off for the man. I have always been verbose and know it can be a negative trait, but how hard is it to read an extra few paragraphs? I guess harder than I thought. So, I'm working on sending much pared down versions. No success with that, either, though, so we'll see which route garners the most rewards.
Second, some men use Match as a hook up service. Match is their pimp, and sex is expected. I am an open book and have no ulterior motives, and because of this, I don't usually look for them in others, unless I'm given reason to believe they are being dishonest or deceitful. So, it took me a few minutes to realize that two of my dates were just pimping themselves out via Match and expected me to be on the same page. Not a fun situation, so I am well aware of the warning signs that come with this type of guy: wanting to meet, regardless of the time of night or how long you've talked; not willing to write back and forth; and discussing sex early in the relationship, sometimes in graphic detail.
Third, dating on a site like this is a lot like Chris Rock's stand-up routine where he states that people aren't meeting the other person on a date, they are meeting that person's "representative." At least two men have mentioned that my "picture doesn't do me justice" on my profile. A nice compliment until they begin to expound on the subject: "Well, that dress makes you look fatter and you look kind of geeky." Gee, thanks. I guess I'll head down to Glamour Shots for a make-over and picture session. Goody. (Can you hear the sarcasm? If not, I can turn it up a bit...) Why does the picture matter so much? I know look are important at some level, but it sucks that a few paragraphs and old picture have to be your "representatives". I am so much more than that.
My impatience with dating is growing as quickly as a weed in the spring. I sure hope that someone I'm compatible with is around the corner. For now, I'll just try to think positive; like how the writers of "How I Met Your Mother" (CBS TV show)phrased this feeling of hopeless waiting: you are in a math problem with two trains, speeding towards each other on the track. It is inevitable they will meet, it is just a matter of time, as each train has to make its designated stops first. Choo-choo. :)