Feeling kind of Eartha Kitt tonight "I want to be evil, I want to spit tacks." Sometimes I want to do mean things. I live in the same neighborhood as a hoola-hoop enthusiast with a vanity license plate. I have the urge to take some duct tape and change the 'H' to a 'P' on the plate so instead of reading 'Hoopin' it reads 'Poopin'. I would never do it, of course, because that would be mean, but I think about it sometimes.
I like to scare people too. My brother started that. It's fun to scare people. Yet, some people think it's mean. One of my old roommates and I used to have scaring contests to see how many times in one day we could scare each other, but you know, I've found that not all roommates appreciate this.
Probably the most impulsive thing I repeatedly want to do involves skateboarding. I love the sound of a skateboard snapping over the cracks on the sidewalk. It's such an impressive sound behind you when you're walking; such a feeling of impending excitement. And although I caution all women to beware of anyone over the age of 25 who uses a skateboard as his main form of transportation, I still always wonder when I hear that sound...what does he look like? I never turn, but wait..wait...wait for him to get right behind me, close enough to feel the molecules shift and then I have the urge to raise my arm quickly so that it hits him in the chest and he falls on his skinny butt.
Some people don't seem to mind cell phone conversations on the bus. Me, I mind. I want to be evil and have Vista Print make a bunch of cards for me that say "Yeah, you're the asshole on the cell phone." It probably wouldn't do any good, but it'd make me feel like I'd done something mean and productive at the same time.
Have you ever been listening to someone, well not really listening, more just skimming the surface of comprehension and been struck by the impulse to interrupt them and say "Yeah, this is really boring, can we talk about me instead?" The list is endless. This world abounds with opportunities to be evil, to be mean, to be myself. Occasionally, I steer clear of all three options.
Causes Katherine McWilliams Supports
The Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation jdrf.org Macula Vision Research Foundation mvrf.org Washington Office on Latin America wola.org/juarez