I am a single girl who feels a bit ambiguous about the ongoing desirability of this state. I love the freedom and the lack of smelly socks to pick up off the floor, but on occasion it gets lonely.
Recently I decided I really ought to just try again to see what's out there. I'm pretty familiar with my home city's offerings -- it's neither a large nor a varied city -- so I figured my best bet was to spruce up a long-dormant membership to Plenty of Fish.
I must have done something right, or at least chosen the right photograph, because I was almost immediately in contact with a man who lives just 50 miles away -- a next-door neighbor by Wyoming standards.
Our schedules didn't seem to mesh too well to meet, so I was content to just write back and forth a while and get to know each other that way. I make it a point in life, after all, never to be in a hurry for anything. Rushing leads to mistakes and crankiness even in unimportant matters, and this might just be an important one.
My suitor, however, appeared to have other ideas. Immediately he began firing questions at me that I found uncomfortably personal, brusque and direct. He'd decided to skip the "what do you like to dos" and "have you seen this film" and "what matters to you most" and went straight to "are you a good kisser?" and "are you a good lovemaker?" on the SECOND MESSAGE.
I suppose I'm meant to admire his directness and honesty but really, I don't know what to say. So far, I have said nothing. I am still shocked and taken aback at the very thought of that message. I won't say I'm offended per se but I do feel like I've been treated with great impatience by a stranger, which does not encourage further acquaintance, does it?
So now a question I pose myself: upset as I am by what I can only consider bad manners, what is the best way to deal with it? So far I have simply declined to respond at all; I have retreated back into my shell and am really thinking this reminder of what IS out there was what I needed to make me re-connect with the virtues of my single state. I don't WANT to continue any communication at all. Yet part of me nags that it would only be kind to tell him why I'm declining this communication and potential relationship; it would spare him from committing this error again and perhaps lead to a happy connection elsewhere and elsewhen, with someone else. Perhaps other women have clammed up as I am and he's just blundering along this way until someone either corrects him or is attracted by his behavior.
But is it really my responsibility to correct a stranger, whom I want to keep as a stranger? I can see no good coming of this and perhaps much ill. Flaming, harrassing, bullying... I haven't the stomach for it.
What I am most strongly tempted to do is take down the profile and just go about my merry, solitary way. I haven't done that, yet, either, though, for part of me still hopes there's a nice guy out there yet who won't terrify me with message #2.
Causes Kate Sherrod Supports
National Novel Writing Month, National Public Radio (two stations - KUWR/Laramie, WY and KUNC - Greeley, CO), Wyoming Association of Municipalites, Wyoming...