Love Language #1: Words of Affirmation
According to Gary Chapman, author of bestselling The Five Languages of Love, Love Language #1 is "Words of Affirmation...best expressed as simple, straightforward statements of affirmation." He writes that "the need to feel loved by one's spouse is at the heart of all marital desires." When one person invests energy in filling his or her partner's emotional love tank, the other person naturally reciprocates and this sets the course for a long-lasting, loving relationship.
John Izzo, PhD, author of The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die, claims that the secret to a happy marriage is sincere, loving affirmations. He sites a study that claims that couples who express seven positive affirmations for every one negative criticism of each other have longer lasting marriages than those who do not.
Do you agree? Of course, staying loving and positive is not always easy to do. Sometimes we lose it - nobody's perfect. But when one of us is mindful enough to change the channel and sing each other's praises it feels indescribably good. That's what our two couples’ journals - The Book of Us: A Journal of Your Love Story in 150 Questions and What I Love About You – are all about. The writing prompts and fill-in-the-blank format help you find the words to affirm your partner in a way that can be read over and over.
Post-Valentine's Day reviews - from people who got or gave one of these couples' journals for VDay - are popping up on Amazon now. These reviews convince me that yes, we're on the right track with these journals. It makes me happy that they made other people happy.
Everyone has a story to tell and someone who wants to hear it.”
About Kate
Sometimes writing things down is easier than saying them out loud. Kate Marshall and her husband David have created guided journals to help people organize their personal stories and thoughts about life, love, beliefs and experiences and to express gratitude...
Connections
Causes Kate Marshall Supports
Project Second Chance, an adult literacy program run by the Contra Costa County Library system in California.
I would agree (I haven't been
I would agree (I haven't been in a relationship since the last century but it sounds right). I think it's vital to encourage and not undermine. Too many partners/spouses subtly undermine.
universal truth
I think it's good advice for any sort of relationship, be it with a romantic partner, family member, friend, colleague, neighbor, or pet!
Wonderful reminder! Your blog
Wonderful reminder! Your blog and the journal.... I haven't been in a relationship either in the last decade but I do believe that affirmations are not just for marriages and couples, they're part of everyday life! Self-affirmations most especially. We can only give what we have inside of us and while it certainly does help to have someone to fill your love tank, for myself, when I rely mostly on myself to work on my own well being, it helps to affirm myself with positivity as often as I can remember :-)
Yes, Rina!
Yes, affirmations are key, even (especially?) self-affirmations. Positive reinforcement is a recurring theme - in the parenting books I read when my kids were young, in leadership books and workshops I took for work, the techniques I was taught in dog training classes, and yes...in the relationship books I've read (and written).