There was a slight breeze caressing the dew as the sun promised to dry things up for my outdoor wedding the morning of Octber 3rd. Family had flown in days before and the bustle of preparing food and flowers was underway. My mother, mother-in-law to be, sisters, and sister-law to be, as well as friends and miscellaneous acquantainces wobbled out of bed early that Saturday morning to help prepare. We had bought flowers the day prior at a local farmers market along with pumpkin and gourds for-- a Harvest Wedding was our intention. The day of--folks arrived shuffling in their favorite sweats to set out chairs, test a microphone and sound system, shove food into a large frige of the garden house we had rented, and mingle flowers in beautiful thrift store bought vases, while lovely linen table cloths were carefully tossed on borrowed tables to accentuate the orange and yellow mums that nestled amid sunflowers, bells of Ireland, and a few white roses. It was a truly a communal affair--the wedding of Karen Devaney (that is me) and Scotty Long ( my ex-fiance)--two people who had been together for ten years! So why bother after ten years? Why the fan fare, the fuss, the frolic with an ancient tradition? Committment. Pure and simple. When you stand in front of eighty some friends and family spewing (or in the case of my now husband blubbering) Celtic/American Indian vows with a Native flutist lulling the words--while wearing a gorgeous outfit--it means more than living together. It means, two people have chosen to share their commitment openly--like announcing you're New Years resolutions at the dinner table. It is taking the personal, "Oh by the way I love and support you," to a public level. I realize millions of unmarried couples are devoted to their honor and love for one another. But I must admit--although I am an ultra open minded person, I have closet, romantic, old fashion feelings towards marriage (but for the record we totally support gay marriages)...and so being married, united officially even after ten years together-- feels different. A wonderful different. A dfferent that says-- I realize life is loopy and unpredictable--but I will not falter--I will stand by those vows--being a shield for my husband's back as he will for me. I will not try to change him nor will he I--for this is a marriage of equals. A testimony of support and understanding and uncompromised encouragement to another. And the ultimate gift-- was that our families are now comfortable amongst each other for we danced until the wee hours and feasted in the morning. We laughed and conversed and even cried over those there in spirit alone Grandmothers and Grandfathers listening in the wings as the wind whirled around us during the ceremonty. We knew. We knew. What a treasure. The other treat was that the entire wedding cost about three grand--a renewal to lasting love, undying hope, and the old fashion sincerity of committment. For those wanting a wedding but feel they can't afford it--think again and dive in--or email me for a word or two/
Causes Karen Devaney Supports
Eve Ensler and any organization that deals with issues supporting women and children and the advancement of their education.