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The Girl Who Kicked The Turkey Leg

The day after Thanksgiving (TDAT) is a hallowed day for my family. It isn’t because we waited months to freeze our asses off in the parking lot of Best Buy at 2 a.m., although losing a little ass isn’t a bad thing the day after Thanksgiving.  Nor is TDAT special because we secretly hoped the person in line in front of us at Best Buy was afflicted with the post-Thanksgiving  trots, increasing our odds of getting the Sony Hi-Def video camera with an 8 gigabyte SD card and carrying case for only $449.
   
Thanks to good genetics, most of my family is immune from TDAT Shopping Sickness, the consumptive virus, I mean consumption virus developed by savvy corporate advertisers that’s spread via flyers and advertisements inserted in your mailbox.

TDAT was a great day for college football, particularly if you’re a corn-chucking Nebraska fan. As a native Coloradoan, I have to say CU had it for a few minutes when the score was 3 to 10. “It” was a glimmer of a hope of the slight possibility of a belief there was a chance in hell they could win.  But, football isn’t the reason TDAT is special for my family.
 
On TDAT, through some miracle of digestion, we’ve forgotten how utterly miserable we were twenty-four hours ago after consuming sweet potato soufflé, hollandaise sauce fruit salad, cranberries, stuffing, green bean casserole, turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, rolls, pecan pie, and pumpkin pie. By 5 p.m. on TDAT, we’re ready for the Second Dinner, an event as sacred as the Last Supper because—you-only-have-to-warm-it-up-this-time-thank-God.

There are unwritten rules regarding Second Dinner. The extra food from our Thanksgiving meal is carefully stored. Extra food means the cooks cooked for two days, which accounts for their temporary psychosis each year when the Thanksgiving meal is over in twenty minutes.
 
Picking at the food saved for the Second Dinner is dishonorable. Children learn early on it is best not to snag a piece of celery stuffed with Old English Cheese or grab a spoonful of fruit salad from the fridge. (It stings a bit to have the refrigerator door shut on your hand.)  Mothers are trained to recognize the sound of a refrigerator door opening from fifty yards. Dads know better than to make a turkey sandwich at midnight...we’ll notice those three missing pieces of turkey.
   
It’s not unusual to have enough food to have a Second-Second Dinner on the day after the day after Thanksgiving (TDATDAT) or even the day after the day after the day after the day after Thanksgiving.  My excitement for the TDATDATDATDATDAT meal is less than…palpable. It hasn’t affected my husband, RJ, who is happily consuming a Second-Second Dinner as I type.
 
I think I’ve lost my appetite. It could have something to do with the turkey carcass boiling in the pot on the stove.
 
Today is Cyber Monday. You know what that means in my family? Turkey Tetrazzini...for the next four days.