I didn’t receive an eCard on my birthday. There were no special effect best wishes gyrating on my screen—no purple and yellow butterflies flitting through a psychedelic garden and landing on a moss draped boulder in the middle of a silver iridescent river with Happy Birthday flashing through the ripples.
ECards are animated, cartoon versions of the sappiest cards you can buy, like the cheap ones with unending, rhyming verses at the dollar store. Watching an eCard might cause a seizure and suffering through the animations—two dozen roses that appear one at a time in a vase, pink frogs hopping across five thousand lily pads, chubby cherubs playing Happy Birthday on harps—can cause a nervous breakdown. The longer the eCard, the closer the little white arrow on my screen gets to the red X in the right hand corner.
Ninety percent of my family and friends send traditional greeting cards; even our texting, tweeting, Face-booking, Xbox playing, tech savvy adult kids send real greeting cards. It’s tacky to “give” a free eCard and nightmares to a loved one on a special occasion.
I keep my cards on an antique bureau in my kitchen where I can admire them for a few weeks after my birthday. I keep extra special cards forever. This year, the keeper card is from my sister. It will live in my trunk with the other keepers I’ve accumulated for forty years. I’ll look at it a few times in the future. I’ll laugh each time I read, “Sis, insanity is hereditary. We are so screwed! Happy Birthday, anyway!”
Causes Jules Jacob Supports
CASA of Southwest Missouri, Master Gardeners of the Ozarks, University of Missouri Master Gardeners, Missouri Court Appointed Special Advocates Association...