When you drive, don’t think about the sixteen year-old boys who share the road with you, especially the ones who’ve already had accidents. They shouldn’t be allowed to drive a Big Wheel, let alone a car, but don’t let that spoil your ride. If one approaches from behind while you’re stopped at a red light, you’re safest option is to run the red light.
Never let them near your rear.
When a sixteen year-old sees the left turn lane traffic moving and deduces all lanes must be moving, pray you’re not the person writing a poem in your head in front of him. If you are and he slams into you, you’ll discover you’re better off if there isn’t a car in front of you.
If you sustain a double hit, don’t feel an ounce of sympathy for the sandwich maker when his eyes well up and he says he’s sorry. You don’t know how bad you’re going to hurt. You haven’t found out yet that although insurance companies love to take your premiums, none of them want to pay your auto accident bills.
When the kid says, “Man, I’m already having a bad day,” don’t smile insincerely and say, “Well, I’m having a bad day now, too.” (What does it take for some people to lose the sarcasm?) This is your opportunity to shake your fist and scream, “You little Fu***r! You ruined my life!” (Pretend you’re on T.V.)
It’s best not to get rear ended six weeks after extensive shoulder surgery for an unhealed fracture and other complications from another accident. If you're that unlucky, maybe you shouldn't get out of bed in the morning.
When the kid’s Grandpa arrives at the scene, don’t assume he’s Grandpa Walton because you live nineteen miles from Arkansas. When Gramps offers to “straighten out that bumper and paint the back bumper and scratches on the car,” tell him, "I’m going to let my insurance company 'straighten it out' for me." (By then you’ll realize he actually is from Arkansas.)
When Gramps tells his grandson, "You’re going to have to work even harder to pay these fines and higher insurance rates so you can drive,” try not to slap Grandpa with his grandson’s restricted driver’s license. When Gramps demonstrates how tech savvy he is when he whips out his cell and takes pictures of the damage to your car, remind him the sheriff already ticketed his grandson and he doesn't work for his auto insurance company.
Male teenagers are the most dangerous drivers on the road. We all know it, because either we were cocky, infallible male teenagers or we were the girl sitting next to them, hanging onto the seat or screaming at them to stop and let us out.
It's dangerous on the streets...proof that walking is still the best thing for you.
Causes Jules Jacob Supports
CASA of Southwest Missouri, Master Gardeners of the Ozarks, University of Missouri Master Gardeners, Missouri Court Appointed Special Advocates Association...