This is my first purposeful, nonsensical blog. I’m not planning for it to be, but there’s a good chance it will be. (See?) My thinking is skewered, my electrolytes skewed, and the headache from hell is screwing with my head.
Did I mention I haven’t had a regular meal since Sunday night? No. Okay. I haven’t had a regular meal since Sunday night. Are you feeling sorry for me, yet? No? Fine. That’s not the point of this blog. I wanted to see if writing would distract me from my headache. Umm. No.
Forty hours ago, an alien coveted my body and I let him have it. The despicable being wrenched, twisted and flung me around the bathroom in the longest bout of wretched retching I’ve experienced since the time I caught the Asian flu when I was six. I moaned, heaved, cried and cursed the porcelain God every half hour for almost twenty hours. Ri-frickin'-diculous.
How bad was it? So bad, I was convinced for about ten seconds (okay, ten hours) that I must have stomach cancer. There was no way this was just the flu.
But it was. Eight lucky family members were similarly possessed by the Barf-aliens. My husband, RJ, truly was lucky. He felt nauseated for two days but somehow miraculously managed to not throw up a single morsel.
Today I dined on the gourmet, post-flu diet of saltines, chicken soup and Jell-O. I’m recovering, but I have no more room for Jell-O, and a fervent desire to never lay eyes on another bottle of ginger ale as long as I live.
In the end, the biggest loss wasn’t two days of my life and the ability to write or do anything well besides hurl. The biggest loss is the Christmas dinner leftovers we didn’t get to eat—turkey, stuffing, green bean casserole, sweet potato soufflé, pecan pie, pumpkin pie and the most tragic loss of all…the Secret Pineapple Almond Fruit Salad.
Causes Jules Jacob Supports
CASA of Southwest Missouri, Master Gardeners of the Ozarks, University of Missouri Master Gardeners, Missouri Court Appointed Special Advocates Association...