I try not to get sick or have a procedure during a holiday week. Three days before Thanksgiving, I had to have a procedure.  I tried to convince my anesthesiologist/pain physician to postpone my procedure until after Thanksgiving but he wouldn't comply. I was a little worried. Why didn’t he act like a normal doctor and go to Hawaii for Thanksgiving?

The worst part about the timing wasn’t the Transforaminal Selective Nerve Root Block—a procedure under light anesthesia where a needle is guided via fluoroscopy into my spine and dye is used to locate the L5 nerve by my herniated disc so a mass amount of long-acting steroids can be injected into the area.
 
The worst part wasn’t the post-procedure bleeding complications I developed in recovery, which prompted one lovely nurse to scurry from my cubicle shouting, “We’ve got a bleeder!” and the other lovely nurse to say to me, “In ten years, I’ve never seen this happen. You should see a doctor because you might have a serious bleeding disorder.”

I developed a post-procedure temperature. I decided to hang onto the temperature for Thanksgiving week. I dutifully called St. John’s Pain Clinic Office to report my temperature at ten minutes to 5 the day before Thanksgiving. I spoke to a kind lady at the answering service, a nurse, and the doctor on call. After answering twenty questions three times, the nurse told me to go to the nearest urgent care clinic and the doctor determined I was probably fine. I picked door number three.

The worst part was signing a paper before my procedure that stated the following—

DISCHARGE INSTRUCTIONS:

Do not drive a motor vehicle, operate machinery or power tools for eight hours after your procedure. The medication given to you during a procedure has the possible side effects of decreased reflexes, numbness, and tingling for up to eight hours after a procedure. These side effects can occur rather rapidly and may impair your motor function temporarily making driving unsafe.
Call if temperature is above 100.4 degrees F.

Not only did they think I had back problems, they also thought I had mental problems. Boy, I sure was planning on power washing the driveway after I drove myself home. And I was going to crank up the chainsaw to cut some firewood. I wanted a cozy fire when my parents arrived for Thanksgiving.

Instead I had to use that stupid, old hand saw.