painting by Judy Jones
c jj 2002
While writing a friends obituary, I realized how much I detest the superficialities of life. A robot can type in dates, places and times, but I cannot. It is the dark nights of the soul in which our true character is shaped. That we try and hide that is the real us.
Can I possibly just write my dear friend was born and died on, and survived by, etc? No, I choose instead to remember and speak of Jan as a woman who saw her own mother murdered before her eyes by a stalkers bullets that were meant for her. She turned this tragic event into the catalyst for becoming an advocate, a tireless worker, and a woman, whose inner strength radiated across miles.
Were it not for her deepest sorrows, I would never have had the pleasure of knowing Jan. They made her a fearless and compassionate worker for all peoples rights, and gave her an inner glow which can only come from experiencing, and going beyond the darkest nights of the soul.
Towards the end of her life, instead of living her final years in a serene environment as many elders do, Jan was the most tested, experiencing her hardest times on earth. She knew hunger, fear, loneliness, and the heartbreak of seeing her country and the world in a war she tired her whole life to prevent.
Instead of breaking her; oncemore, she became a soul on fire, on fire with divine love. Let others pretend 'all is fine' and choose not to see the dark secrets we hide trying to be, 'pretty, perfect and happy' in the worlds eyes.
I want to know the real you, the real me. I want to know all events that formed our souls over the years of our lives. Were I only to look at societies so called 'perfect' things on this earth, I would die without having lived.
Thank you my dearest friend for sharing with me the flame you came to earth to pass on, the flame of eternal life. Your truth becomes my strength, your passion; my guiding light. May your beautiful spirit continue to enrich us with the seeds you planted. I love you!
c jj 2005